Saturday, February 01, 2014

1/2014 in review

so january is over . . .

after writing this post, i'm going to spend some quality time thinking about the good ol' HP.  it's been quite a whirlwind month.

i was on call 17/31 days for our practice [that's 24/7 pager availability].  UM.  THAT'S A LOT.  oh, and the two weekends i was 'off', josh was on call.  i stand by my decision to work full time, but the amount/intensity of hours put in over the past month were more than ideal for me.  i front-loaded on purpose because better now than as a mom-of-two, right?  but i will be VERY glad to return to the normal 1:4 schedule upon my return from leave.

[which i am now feeling very ready for!]

 i reached the old definition of 'full term' pregnancy -- 37 weeks [it seems unfair that they changed it between annabel and #2 but i do respect the reasoning.]

 likely as a result of the above, i got insanely tired, moody, and emotional.

 i actually STOPPED running/working out [too tired] at a time when the rest of the world seemed to be embarking on ambitious new fitness journeys for the new year

 on the up-side, i did pass my boards and had some wonderful moments with josh and annabel.  between work calls.  nothing horrible fell through the cracks, and i remained organized.  so, there's that.


a quick run-through january's HP goals:

1) work on eliminating rushing.  as i mentioned several weeks ago, this goal was not specific nor quantifiable enough. i DO think i thought about time more in a non-rushed way, if that makes sense. examples: i tried to enjoy my commutes [even if there was traffic] and savor lazy moments with annabel.   at the same time, during the large percentage of the month that i was on call, it felt very difficult to really relax about time, given that:


a) i have no real control of my schedule when on call.  

b) i feel pressure to get out of work by 5:15 or so in order to get home to annabel on time.  often this gives me a rushed/harried feeling throughout the entire work day.  unfortunately, most days it is not realistic to share evening responsibilities with josh [he just physically cannot get out on time -- is often still in the OR or doing a procedure until fairly late].  it leads to unavoidable moments of [real] time pressure, and it is hard.  i think about adding pumping*/breastfeeding/a second child into the mix and all i can say is -- i had better figure things out in the next few months.  the answer is probably accepting that more of my [electronic] paperwork will need to be done at night/on the weekend, but i admit i don't love that solution either.


however, this doesn't mean i have to keep this rushed feeling on evenings and weekends where it truly is not necessary.  and just thinking about it DID help, to some extent.  i think i'll revisit this again - perhaps with more concrete aims - in a future month.


2) eliminate time sinks.  i took the facebook app off of my phone, but quickly realized that i could still get on by going to facebook.com.  i did a stringent weeding-out of my blog reader, but still mindlessly surfed from time to time.  i will say i was more conscious of these sinks, and therefore they felt more like guilty pleasures and less like default time-fillers/procrastination devices.  so, mixed success.

3) plan for breaks - including setting aside ~2 hrs each weekend as relaxation/me time.
i did do this, and had 2 prenatal massages over the course of the month on both 'off' weekends -- awesome use of 2-3 hours of babysitting time.  today after rounding in the hospital, i took a nap while annabel did [though got interrupted by multiple pages, sigh].  i have come to terms that i am a better mom/person when i get some time to do me things, and plan on continuing this.  

4) dedicate time to josh/me for US.  including unplugged dinners when he is home.  
um.  not enough of these, sadly.  he was too late and i was too tired/hungry/impatient.  hopefully more in the future.

5) fill free time with worthwhile things.  
another meh.  i haven't read much of anything except half of love and logic [which i have mixed feelings about].  i have all of these movies i want to see, but i don't think we've seen a single one this year, which is pretty lame. honestly, i feel like i subtracted 3+ hours from each day due to 

a) needing to sleep more in my current state

b) needing to work more because of more call
c) annabel sleeping LESS [7:30 bedtimes, 5:30 wakeups most mornings, although she hangs out fairly calmly most mornings and we do not get her until 6]

. . . and despite skipping workouts and outsourcing 99% of chores, there just wasn't much left.**


february donation:
$66 to the JDRF [apparently november was a light month!].  even if a cure might jeopardize my job security***, i feel so strongly about the need for better treatments/prevention.  though type 1 diabetes is a manageable condition, it is such an incredible burden on parents and families and children.  i really hope someday in the near future that it will be preventable or at least -- made easier.

[i am donating 100% of my blogher earnings to charitable organizations on a monthly basis.  previous months below.]


* i know most people can multitask while pumping.  i am also incredibly jealous of those who can fill bottles in 5 minutes.  my output was terrible without using hands-on massage techniques -- and it took me a full 25-30 minutes/session.

** although i DID have time to blog and get the aforementioned massages.  maybe my expectations are just too high.

*** not really!