Tuesday, January 21, 2014

still pregnant and still alive

just . . . hanging in there.

happenings:

just finished another call week -- one which was usually busy.  and i'm spent.  looking back, i had 13 of the past 21 days of january on call for our practice!  and  now i know why i am SO happy i am usually on 1 in 4.  i hope i can survive my last call week, set for 1/28-2/3.

annabel has a bad cold.  so do josh and i.  (*$&@#.

i somehow am 36 weeks pregnant.  part of me is sooooo ready to . . . not be pregnant anymore.   i just want to DEFLATE already and spend time snuggling with a tiny new baby.  however, i also need time to prepare.  we have 0 washed baby outfits, 382 extraneous items piled in the 'nursery', and 0 installed car seat bases [although i guess in a pinch annabel's carseat would work for that first ride home, since it's still rear-facing and goes down to 5 lbs].  and we do have a box of newborn diapers, so there's that.

no change to the fact that i am really, really tired.  continuing workout boycott -- i'm done and just ready to start fresh POST-baby.  this is so unlike me, but it is what it is.

i do not feel like i have had a spare minute for myself for the past week.  hence the lack of posts.

i am sad that my HP is already being [somewhat] neglected.  i will say that i'm still THINKING about the things i wanted to work on, which is better than nothing.  but not rushing is really REALLY hard to apply when i really have the sense that there truly are not enough hours/units of energy to do what i'd like to do right now.  [laura v.  . . . help?]

i am trying to accept that perhaps annabel just needs less sleep at night [more like 10 hrs] and this lovely schedule [it really does sound lovely] is just not in the cards for us.

i ordered the green:


i know, i know.  but i kept going back and forth and couldn't stop thinking about this one.  and so: trigger pulled.  i will feel grown up traipsing around with this!

in summary:
filled with plans, dreams, and excitement - but feeling like i just want a weeklong nap.  that's what life with a newborn is like, riiiiiiiiiiigggghhhhhtttt? 

oh dear.

GOING TO BED.