[for those reading via google reader -- this is a post in the huggies/blogher series. just to clarify why i'm seemingly going back in time!]
you are not alone if:
* you yearn for a bump so people don't just think you've been hitting the haagen-dazs -- hard. not to mention the fact that you feel your worst but often don't want to talk about it or explain it to anyone!
* you feel fragile and vulnerable -- and scared. suddenly, everything you do seems to have consequences, and not just for yourself. and it's not just about alcohol and sushi; magazine articles and news segments have made it clear that toxins are EVERYWHERE. is anything safe?!
* you suddenly find yourself obsessed with pregnancy blogs, movies, and books, all in the hopes of finding others going through the same symptoms that women have been enduring for eons.
* when the only thing you want for dinner is cereal again, and you feel really bad about it [see item #2, above].
* you seem to have found a pocket of stored energy out of nowhere! you are turbocharged at work and at home. perhaps it's early for nesting, but there are so! many! fun! projects! out there. and they all must get done before you become too big to move about comfortably, so it's go-time.
* you are shocked when you find out the baby's sex. of course, many of us get an idea in our heads of what we're expecting, but approximately 50% of the time, we're wrong.
* you sometimes forget that you're pregnant -- until you spill something on/bang something into your growing bump.
* you feel completely overwhelmed when starting to think about forming a registry. there's just so much. . .STUFF. and the baby doesn't even seem real enough to need anything yet. . .
* you only now start to accept the idea that A BABY IS GOING TO COME OUT. of you! one way or another.
* your pregnancy obsession shifts to a birth story/baby care obsession. you can't get your fill of posts about epidurals, birthing balls, and delayed cord clamping. "Happiest Baby on the Block" is your new nighttime pleasure reading.
* you start to wonder what's going to happen to your body when it reaches maximum capacity -- and afterward. and you're not exactly thrilled about it.
* you have no ability to concentrate on anything non-baby related.
* you start to envision every 'what if?' scenario, and your husband has to talk you down several times a day.
for me, pregnancy seems so far off now, even though it was only a couple of months ago! i can guarantee that i had all of the above thoughts and more. the 9 months i spent carrying annabel were not terrible -- i was lucky enough to have only moderate morning sickness, and i was able to remain active [even run!] all through 40 weeks -- however, i can't say it was my favorite time! there was much fatigue, plenty of paranoia, and. . .it's just not that COMFORTABLE to carry an extra person around for so long.
if you're reading this in the first tri between dry heaves, then please just trust me: it gets better! and it's SOOOO worth it in the end. i'm even game for another turn or 2! although not just yet.
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