Thursday, March 01, 2012

swirling thoughts

goooood morning
it is for me, probably because i slept at least 9 hours last night! since i'm on call again this weekend [hello, 2 am pages] i've been trying to stock up on all the sleep i can get over the intervening four pagerless nights. one way to make a week fly by? dread the weekend! honestly, i've been trying not to, but 19 days of work in a row -- even if my work days are just normal hours and not that strenuous -- are enough to get under my skin a little. and today is only day #11.

practical things
it's kind of ironic that this month's resolution was to focus on work, because well -- i've never struggled so much to do so! i have plenty to do [and limited time to do it] but the not knowing when it's all going to end with a dramatic gush of amniotic fluid [ha, or not] is not helping my motivation. while i don't expect an early arrival, reading the experiences of heather, allison, jen, kate and ashley reinforce that it's still a possibility.

[still pretty sure i will end up in emily or gina's situations though -- experiencing the joys of week 40 + beyond!]

anyway, given that i'm in the lab, it's also easy for my mind to wander while doing mindless benchwork [loading real-time PCR plates, for example]. yesterday, i found myself thinking about . . .

breastfeeding. i am oddly getting nervous about this!! while i am prepared for pain, i just really want it to work and go well. i hate that i can't really practice in advance!

baby sleep patterns. i have 12 weeks off for maternity leave, but i have to admit i'm already stressing about disrupting our baby's sleep -- and therefore crucial brain development time --when it's time to return to work. i blame this book even though i think it's a good one . . .

fitting in some running postpartum. i don't have any crazy aspirations but i am really hoping to be able to fit in some workouts after our baby is born -- after an appropriate recovery, of course. personally, i think it will be necessary for my own sanity! but the practical barriers are considerable.

i found myself daydreaming about owning one of these

but if you've seen our apartment, you will understand why this is strictly a dream.

guilt. honestly, i already feel guilty that i even care about carving out that time for me. the reason that it's going to be so challenging at times is because josh's work hours are going to go back to insane [may through august -- think 16+ hour days]. i'm probably going to be struggling just to survive as [almost] a single parent, especially after i head back to work in july. anyway, i can already see what tears so many working moms apart as we are expected to be primary caregivers and successful at work.

anyway. it will ALLLLL work out somehow, right? and don't get me wrong -- i still feel incredibly lucky and am beyond excited to get things started already. i feel so close to our baby and i just can't wait to hold her -- even with the practical concerns swirling around in the background.

eating well recipe #3
a tiebreaker . . .

pasta alle herbe for the win!

this meal was comforting and tasty, if a little protein deficient. i used kale for the green element [bought a HUGE bag at the store this week] and i splurged and bought real parmigiano regiano which definitely made the dish.

it was very easy and would go on my things that would be good to make when life gets crazy list, if i had one.

link love
just a mini-edition this time!

5 things i love about pregnancy from bake bike blog who is due in ONE WEEK!

useful post on limiting paper file storage from small notebook. i am totally guilty of this!

how do i stop tv from sucking away my time? from the happiness project. based on the comments [and my experience] her next post needs to focus on the lure of the internet!