Sunday, March 06, 2011

positive thoughts

it's all okay
i have to admit, i'm a little stressed out this morning. i just spent my 5-minute meditation thinking about shopping for groceries, my [long] to-do list, and how i really don't like how i look in the photos from last night.

although this one is at least pretty funny.

(yes, we MEANT to set the shrimp on fire! it's part of the recipe.)

it's just so easy to be self-critical sometimes. just off of the top of my head, i know i have had all of these thoughts over the past 24 hours:

i am such a slow runner.
i am still so inflexible.
my presentations are never that great.
i wish i could get arm lipo.
why did i just eat/drink [fill in the blank]!??
my blog needs a makeover
my cooking is so unimpressive
our apartment is so messy - i'm such a bad housekeeper

honestly, that is just a SMALL sampling. and yet i have trouble coming up with even ONE counter-thought that is positive!

turning it around
today. right now.

i try hard, i have love for others (and life), and my heart is in the right place

and isn't that really all that matters?

. . . namaste.

[edited to add: this tara brach podcast addresses the above almost exactly. such amazing timing.]

playing hostess


despite the negative background noise, i had a great time hosting e and his lovely wife m for dinner. i have to admit that some of my self-flagellation about housekeeping and cooking yesterday came from comparing myself with m who threw an absolutely gorgeous and lavish dinner party at their (immaculate!) home a few weeks ago.

however, i eventually came to grips that while our gatherings are not nearly as elegant or elaborate, i still have a style that is all my own, and . . . it's actually pretty nice in its own way. comfortable. relaxed. and (usually) tasty.

last night, i actually turned to two recipes that were once my dinner party staples -- but that i haven't made for years. you know, if you go back about 10 years, i really didn't know how to cook at all. it was only in the last 5 or so that i became truly comfortable in the kitchen, and confident in my abilities to make most recipes work, at least to some extent.

back when i was in the learning phases, i had a small repertoire of favorites that i returned to again and again when we had guests because i knew i probably wouldn't mess them up!

the cooks illustrated recipes that i used can be found in these 6-year-old blog posts from my [long-dead] spinoff cooking blog:

warm baked goat cheese salad with apples, dried cherries, and walnuts (aww, josh even left a comment! how cute.)


shrimp fra diablo with linguine


we also served up some of our cheese of the month selections [thank you again, B + S]

we all liked the gongonzola dolce best

i made a giant mess in the kitchen:


and then we lost big time:


but at least we got to enjoy drowning our sorrows in this mixed berry crisp, also from cooks illustrated

recipe is online, but i think you need to be a member of the site to see it

[email me if you want it! it was easy + good!]

and with that, i am off to start the day! if you are game, try to think of something positive you have thought about yourself recently, and post it in the comments. sometimes i think we [women especially!] need that kind of conscious reminder.

PS
happy birthday vickie!! 29, right? right. your present will be forthcoming!

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3.5.11

workout: 75 minutes baron baptiste flow + 30 minute run. i was scheduled for a longer run and weights, too, but realized three miles into the run that a) my legs felt like lead and b) i was being a little crazy aiming to do all of that in one day. so, yeah.

meditation: just in the AM -- i forgot after our dinner party!
excavation question: a tough one today!
where in your life are you flirting with disaster?