i love my job
seriously. even as a resident, most of the time i like what i am doing. but there are a few instances where things get more than a little painful. they are as follows:
a) when it feels like i am set up for failure. this happens when there are just too many patients for any one person to handle well, but i am expected to deal with it anyway (prior example: PICU call). yesterday they (whoever 'they' are) FORGOT to schedule someone for the 10am - 6pm ED shift, so i was there alone (with one attending) for the entire time.
we were slammed (thanks, H1N1!) and it felt like we were bailing out our sinking ship -- one filled with antsy pediatric patients and their increasingly impatient parents -- with a pail from 10 am on. it's not that i minded staying 2 hours past the end of my shift (fine . . . i minded a little), it's that the entire experience of being completely unable to keep up with everything was frustrating. to say the least.
b) when i am exhausted. apparently, going from nights to days -- and getting sick in the transition -- isn't the most energy-friendly setup. i passed out on arrival home at 5:30 pm.
c) when people are mean. seriously? if you are going to bring your sniffly-but-running-all-over-the-place-child to the ER and we are busy, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT A WHILE. if they are too rambunctious to control and it annoys you to have to stay there with them that long, maybe think about how much you reaaaaaaaally need to be there. just because i am sitting on the phone does not mean that i am having a social conversation and ignoring you; i might be making consult calls or calls to admit sicker patients. so DON'T shout at me from across the hallway that you've been waiting a long time.
d) when outcomes aren't good. definitely the saddest and worst one. i'd gladly work multiple shifts alone, fatigued, and abused if i could change this one. i just received a very sad email about a patient i took care of and it really hurts. i keep going over the night's events wondering if i could have done anything differently to prevent the eventual outcome and i just don't know. ugh.
so yes, i love working in pediatrics. it's a challenge, it's so rewarding, and days like yesterday are hard but make me want to go back and do things better the next day (ie . . . today!). i was thinking about it, and i actually wouldn't trade places with someone like jenna who is making a living off of blogging/writing in a glamorous setting, even if i could (i would steal a few of her outfits, though). but at the same time, it really can be hard sometimes. i hope today will show me some mercy on these 4 counts.
on a much, MUCH lighter note
i just received a 'save the date' for my first holiday party! it happens to be the UNC surgery holiday party which is not the world's most exciting affair (sorry, did i say that out loud?) but it's still a PARTY that i get to attend with josh and that in itself makes it fun.
you know what else makes it fun?
yep, you guessed it! spirited away, garnet glow, and hollyhock dresses, respectively (god, anthro knows how to name a dress!). which one is your favorite? personally i like the red but i am not sure i look great in that color.
ghost world's first edible giveaway!! check it out here! yum.
workout: none. i worked an extra 2 hours instead.
doin' time: none. i passed out after working the extra 2 hours.
reading: shockingly, yes. i read an article on 'the crying infant' during the first (and only) quiet hour of my shift.