Wednesday, November 11, 2009

almost there

i love my job
seriously. even as a resident, most of the time i like what i am doing. but there are a few instances where things get more than a little painful. they are as follows:

a) when it feels like i am set up for failure. this happens when there are just too many patients for any one person to handle well, but i am expected to deal with it anyway (prior example: PICU call). yesterday they (whoever 'they' are) FORGOT to schedule someone for the 10am - 6pm ED shift, so i was there alone (with one attending) for the entire time.

we were slammed (thanks, H1N1!) and it felt like we were bailing out our sinking ship -- one filled with antsy pediatric patients and their increasingly impatient parents -- with a pail from 10 am on. it's not that i minded staying 2 hours past the end of my shift (fine . . . i minded a little), it's that the entire experience of being completely unable to keep up with everything was frustrating. to say the least.

b) when i am exhausted. apparently, going from nights to days -- and getting sick in the transition -- isn't the most energy-friendly setup. i passed out on arrival home at 5:30 pm.

c) when people are mean. seriously? if you are going to bring your sniffly-but-running-all-over-the-place-child to the ER and we are busy, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT A WHILE. if they are too rambunctious to control and it annoys you to have to stay there with them that long, maybe think about how much you reaaaaaaaally need to be there. just because i am sitting on the phone does not mean that i am having a social conversation and ignoring you; i might be making consult calls or calls to admit sicker patients. so DON'T shout at me from across the hallway that you've been waiting a long time.

d) when outcomes aren't good. definitely the saddest and worst one. i'd gladly work multiple shifts alone, fatigued, and abused if i could change this one. i just received a very sad email about a patient i took care of and it really hurts. i keep going over the night's events wondering if i could have done anything differently to prevent the eventual outcome and i just don't know. ugh.

so yes, i love working in pediatrics. it's a challenge, it's so rewarding, and days like yesterday are hard but make me want to go back and do things better the next day (ie . . . today!). i was thinking about it, and i actually wouldn't trade places with someone like jenna who is making a living off of blogging/writing in a glamorous setting, even if i could (i would steal a few of her outfits, though). but at the same time, it really can be hard sometimes. i hope today will show me some mercy on these 4 counts.

on a much, MUCH lighter note
i just received a 'save the date' for my first holiday party! it happens to be the UNC surgery holiday party which is not the world's most exciting affair (sorry, did i say that out loud?) but it's still a PARTY that i get to attend with josh and that in itself makes it fun.

you know what else makes it fun?

yep, you guessed it! spirited away, garnet glow, and hollyhock dresses, respectively (god, anthro knows how to name a dress!). which one is your favorite? personally i like the red but i am not sure i look great in that color.

don't forget!
ghost world's first edible giveaway!! check it out here! yum.



workout: none. i worked an extra 2 hours instead.

doin' time: none. i passed out after working the extra 2 hours.

reading: shockingly, yes. i read an article on 'the crying infant' during the first (and only) quiet hour of my shift.


  1. I would love the Spirited Away dress if it came in the garnet color. I love the style of the first, but I can't do grey.

    Sorry about the long day at work, but it's great that you find your work so rewarding. It must be awful for residents who are working so hard and questioning if they made the right decision. I love my job on an intellectual level, but it is so detail oriented. Sometimes I love it because putting the pieces together can be like a solving a puzzle/mystery, but sometimes (like yesterday) it's so frustrating because you just discover one problem after another.

  2. I vote for hollyhock. L, da

  3. Anonymous8:27 AM

    i <3 your first sentence. it makes me smile and be confident that going into medicine isn't going to be a big headache.

    and can i vote for all three? tough call to only pic one. but i think i'd have to go with the spirited away dress because i love dresses that have a bit of flow to them. but i think youd look great in any of them :)

  4. Anonymous8:32 AM

    I think your job definitely wins as one of the more stressful!

    I like the first gray dress.

  5. I like the hollyhock dress. It's different and very pretty. I hope you have a better day today. It's always hard to deal with work stuff, regardless of what you do. However, that being said, the work YOU do is admirable. Hope your energy returns and you have a better day today.

  6. I vote for the spirited away dress.

    If you learned any great wisdom about "the crying baby" from your article, please do share!

  7. I like the red dress (I totally chose that one before reading that you liked it!). Good to hear you love your job. If only more people could say that for themselves!

  8. Keep up the good work! You're doing amazing stuff and it's obviously what you were meant to do.

  9. Oh man...I'm not sure I could relate to this post more! I think I actually posted once about how I felt set up to fail...what fun that is! The worst part is that you can't do anything about...just when you need a break to regroup, you can't take one because there's soooooo much to do.

    And I love when I'm on the phone with a doctor/pharmacy/extended care facility/etc and a family member stares at me like they've been waiting FOREVER and they NEED me now. To ask for a vase for the flowers they brought. Annnnnd that goes on the bottom of my priority list. Not that people realize that.

    But then somehow it's magically (a little) better when you hear someone telling their family member, "Oh, I have my favorite nurse tonight" and you realize that they're talking about you.

    End rant!

    I like the red dress because I looooove red, but my second choice would be spirited away. Pretty. :)

  10. Meredith12:07 PM

    Oooh, anthro. Why is everything they have amazing? Why don't I make more money?!

    I like the Spirited away dress, but the color is a bit dull for the holiday theme. I bet the Hollyhock would look amazing on you!

  11. Stephanie1:20 PM

    i love the red one!

  12. I hear ya. I like my job, but I would change quite a few things about it.

    Love all three dresses and cannot choose. No wonder you're asking the internet!

  13. I love the red dress!! Makes me think I should buy a dress for our party...though I have no one special to go with.

    Sorry you had "a day" at work. I, too, LOVE my job! It so good to know that this is totally where I'm supposed to be, but there are definitely days when it's hard. I had a night like that when there was a bad (initially) outcome and I kept thinking through the night if there was something that would have led me to see it coming, but there wasn't...but you still can't help but think it. Sorry that happened! And the "crying baby?" Oh my! That could be nothing and could be something...what to do!?

  14. atilla11:47 PM

    hands down the red one...I always tell impatient patients that the er is not Burger King and they just can't have it their way

  15. I love the style of the red dress, but it would be much more exciting for you in green!!