Thursday, July 10, 2008

mind trip

the diabatsu buddha in kamakura, japan

i am feeling really good these days. meaning: i'm enjoying my experiences more, stressing less, and generally having a much better time of things. i know that being well-rested and NOT being on constant page are two contributers to this, but i would like to think that maybe there's more to it than that. i've been actively trying practice more mindfulness as i wrote about in this post.

mostly, this means playing the wise watchful observer when the reactive little id voice inside my head tries to take over and RUIN EVERYTHING. this happens:

- when i am driving and i miss a light
- when i drop my pen on the floor
- when some 2 year old screams like i am actively trying to kill them when all i want is a view of his tympanic membranes
- when clinic moves at a pace that isn't exactly in sync with my every desire
- when i am running late
- when someone else is running late
- when i get paged about pretty much anything
- when someone asks me to do something (ie, see this patient instead of this one) other than what i had planned

you get the picture. it happens all freaking day long, and i think it happens to many of us. but instead of letting these little things ruin my day one pained grimace at a time, i have been just trying to impartially observe the events and my initial reaction to them. usually i realize that there is nothing to be even slightly miffed about. and i have a much, MUCH better day as a result, and i think i actually do a better job really being present for each patient or the task at hand.

now if i can keep this up in the PICU (the ultimate test), i should probably be promoted to buddha status.



workout: rest day

reading: last day of PREP questions for my in-service today

cooking: rachael ray again -- sausage mushroom ragu and rigatoni. i actually wasn't really in the mood for more pasta since the vat of r.r. broccoli/spinach penne we went through last week, but i had already bought the ingredients so i felt obligated to use them. it was decent and will be good to bring for lunch but i want to get back to more summery creations.