the personal statement i would like to submit to residency programs

August 30, 2006

but will not, because it would not fly.

who i am, why you should want me, and why pediatrics: an outline.

I. some positive things about me:
> A. nice, outgoing, sociable person (most of the time)
> B. academic nerd (despite US weekly addiction)
> C. hard working (though values sleep)
> D. rather entertaining (i think)
> E. sincere and open (though sometimes i should probably be a little more shut. for example, all these parenthetical things should be left unsaid, but i can’t help it. see? this item is true).

II. why should you want me:
> A. i will probably smile more than the average resident, and it will lighten the mood
> B. because of items B-C above, i will try hard to learn a lot and therefore will hopefully become somewhat competent in pediatric-related matters
> C. i can talk fast and therefore my presentations never drag on
> D. i will care sincerely about my patients and therefore go the extra mile i can to do my best for them.

III. why pediatrics:
> A. i like kids (and can’t handle adults who have RUINED THEMSELVES ALREADY FOR GOD’S SAKE!)
>> 1. they generally just make me smile
>> 2. i find them interesting
>> 3. i don’t even mind interacting with their families
>> 4. i want to prevent them from ruining themselves
>> 5. they are resilient and don’t code as often as old adults do (probably because they have not yet ruined themselves, as mentioned above)
> B. i like problem solving (again, refer to academic nerdiness. i know this applies to many areas of medicine, but it explains why pediatrics rather than, say, camp counselor)
> C. i like and get along with the people who do pediatrics (as opposed to those from other fields which will remain nameless)
> D. because it will keep me young.

(although dermatologists can accomplish that with botox).

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