i'll admit it: as much as i longed for the independence just a year ago, it really is hard to keep to a good work schedule when no one is paying much attention.
however, i am finding that i can't live with the guilt that comes with not working very much. during my slacking over the last couple of weeks (it's hard to work when you're away every freaking weekend -- then when does the laundry get done?), i kept having dreams of being in high school and getting called out for not doing my work, or (more horrifying) dreams of shirking some other, non-academic responsibility, like tending my poor helpless newborn child.
plus, if i don't start to get into good work habits now, i will never get anything done, and therefore i will never EVER graduate. and that would be sad, as well as quite a waste of government funds.
so my new plan is to sit down every day when i first get to lab and set (realistic) goals to get accomplished for that day, and to spend all day doing those things, for god's sake. yes, all day, as in absolute minimum 9-5, with some weekend slots too. the problem is that there are people in my lab who don't work even that much, which makes it seem like it's ok, but are they showing any signs that they might someday graduate?
yes, it's a lot trying to train for a marathon and do kaplan and attempt to not eat out every single night (ie, find time to shop for and cook dinner), but if i can't handle my primary responsibility which is to be a graduate student, then um, hello, something will have to go. the thing is that i think i can handle all of these things. i just have to make sure that i do.
whew. that's all i have to say.
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i finally saw i heart huckabees, and i liked it, despite the mixed feelings of the press. it was refreshingly different, even if it didn't always make sense, and i was awake during the whole thing, which sadly means a lot these days. i recommend.