Wednesday, July 28, 2004

ears, ears, and more ears

i think i must have looked into 30 ears today.  most of them looked fine inside, pearly and shiny pale white or gray.  a couple of them were pink.  one of them was purple and had yellow stuff coming out.  the owner of that ear won himself some amoxicillin, because he had a fever and that ear was just nast!  i have to say, i'm not that great at looking in ears.  sometimes i get a great view, other times not so much.  i realized today that part of the problem is that the exam table puts most people's ears at too high of an angle for me, and i don't adjust myself accordingly.  this is why i'm better at seeing little kid ears than adult ears.

it's kind of embarrassing to admit to anyone that at this point in my medical career i still can't see everyone's ears very well.  am i the only one who is this much of a spaz or is it just that no one else ever admits that they aren't expert ear excavators?  i find that anything medical that involves even the most modest amount of coordination is a major challenge for me.  i am going to blame the fact that tools and things are not designed for short left-handed people, but the truth is, i am just that lame.  or i have a mass in my cerebellum which makes me uncoordinated (hey, the increased ICP would explain my hypertension, right?  hmmmmm.)

other than ears, the most notable thing i saw today was a 17 year old who came in to have 26 staples removed from his NECK AND FACE.  that was some scary shit.  he had gotten into a knife fight with another kid.  apparently he had just been "walking down the road" when this kid jumped him, but i don't know.  i'm sure there's likely more to the story, but he wasn't about to spill it.  for a tough guy, he sure whimpered as we removed those staples. 
i won't be walking down any roads at night in pembroke, i'll tell you that much.

the whole staff went to this mexican restaurant today because the PA who has worked here for 10 years is leaving tomorrow.  it was a crappy mexican restaurant, and it was a rather awkward time for me.  i felt like i was at a party that i wasn't really invited to, even though they did invite me to come.  i suppose i had no choice; the alternative would have been hanging out in the completely empty office, and that would have been much more weird.  one of the other students came and refused to eat anything.  i don't know if she felt bad about being paid for (i sort of did, but would have felt worse refusing the offer), but it was strange.  she is strange.  i don't feel like i really connect with anyone here. 

i don't know if it's the "medical student" role or what, but i feel like it's been hard to connect with most people this year.  this is not typical for me.  i hope there will be a better sense of cameraderie in the lab.  i feel like a great number of people working in medicine are not happy, and it makes them less friendly and more likely to regard you as a pain or a scut-slave rather than a real person to get to know.  this will never be me, i hope.  if i'm not happy, i hope i'll have the sense to get out and find something that does make me happy.  that plan will prevent me from becoming an ornery bitch.

so now i'm laying here on my twin bed feeling lazy.  actually, i want to go work out, but there is this massive thunderstorm predicted and i hate thunderstorms so much that the thought of driving through one is keeping me holed up in my state-issued med-student-cell-block-housing.  maybe i'll go later, after the storm is over.  probably not, though.