Monday, November 05, 2018

one day at a time . . .

The time change has thrown me for a loop, as always.  I am probably one of the few people that would rather spring forward than fall back.  I end up having trouble staying up until 9 pm (which was formerly 10), and children rising prior to 6 AM are not really what I'm in the mood for at that hour (sorry).  I recognize that in a week or so, it will even out as the later bedtime stretches the wakeup, but for a few annoying days . . . well, it's annoying.  I have read that perhaps the EU will do away with it.  This gives me hope!

But if I'm being honest, I've been in a bit of a funk all week.  I can identify several contributing factors:

1) After starting to mostly sleep through the night, G has gone back to 1 wakeup most nights.  Fine, but it hurts worse the second time around.  Notably, my pumping quit date is 12/1 (just 14 DAYS OF PUMPING TO GO!!), and at that point we will do some form of sleep training if she is not consistently making it through.

2) I am just feeling so incredibly time crunched.  At work and at home.  Things are piling up and it bothers me.  I am not really using my own systems to deal with them either.

3) I am not using my days off very well.  I want to spend some of the time with the kids, but some on me, too, and often the entire day will go by and I'll have this realization that I did nothing (or very little) that was truly for me.  I enjoy spending time with G, but -- see #2.  I have decided that I really want to use some of my time for creative ventures (this blog / writing / etc), but it doesn't seem to happen.  One piece of the puzzle is nursing (I can't leave the house for too long or I'd have to pump) and the other is that I am not sure I've communicated well with our nanny about what my intentions are.  These days off are pricey from a salary-lost standpoint, so I would really like to feel like they are worth it.

4) We are moving, and I am still sort of in denial about this.  It feels so nebulous.  Maybe when we are actively moving things out of our house it will be real (this will start next week).  I think the dread/anticipation/uncertainty is the worst part for me, and that's where we are now.

5) I only worked out x2 last week (see #2) and this was a mistake.  If there is anything that improves my mood and helps my overall outlook, it is this.  Getting back to it now.

6) Josh is home from work (okay, only for 2 whole weekdays so far) and perhaps I expected it to feel 'easy' from a parenting perspective with two of us home (he is off until January, when he starts his new position).  Instead, it's an adjustment.

On the up side, I:

- booked our PHL trip (entire week around Christmas!)

- finally bought a few new shirts at Madewell - I have been on a clothing purchasing strike for months now, because I did not feel like my body was back to 'normal' and hence did not want to spend $.  It still isn't entirely, but my shirt situation was getting dire and purchasing 3 Ts, 1 button down, and 1 sweater definitely helps.   The entire store looked like an Express circa 1997 with the colors and styles - but I have to admit I kind of liked it?  Not going to rock a button front miniskirt this time around, but maybe I'll have to find a longer version.

- ran 4 mi yesterday and it felt good

- took Instagram off of my phone.  I KNOW.  (I am going to download an app to use it on my computer, as I'd still like to post regularly and keep up with it on my own terms!).

- finished Small Animals.  What a fascinating parenting book!  I will have more to write about this later.

So, there you go.  A mixed bag.  And hopefully a better week.  I hear G already (it's 5:37a) so I think a morning stroller run will be in order . . .


G wearing her "I voted" sticker!
(I actually voted by mail weeks ago, but Josh did Early Voting Saturday. Lots of options in FL!)


Appreciating my Miami Beach runs more lately!