Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Summary: first tri sucks

Thank you all for your lovely notes on Monday's announcement post.  I am excited and very hopeful, because I feel like the timing worked out really nicely.  I also really REALLY don't want to have to start all over (if something were to go wrong . . .) because:

THE
FIRST 
TRI 
SUCKS.

You'd think that I'd remember that, since I've done it before.  And yes, I consulted my own blog to see if in fact it was this bad: maybe.  But man.  I'm older.  Grumpier.  More tired.  VERY tired.

Just to give some objective details in case I ever go through this again (doubtful, but again if this doesn't stick, then it could):

SLEEP:  I want to sleep all the time.  Seriously.  The second Annabel falls asleep (Cameron goes to bed 15-30 minutes before she does), I head upstairs and pass out.  Sometimes it's 8pm.  Last night I slept 10 hours.  And I'm still tired.

BUMP:  I'm 9 weeks and can feel my uterus (lying down) halfway to my umbilicus, especially in the morning.  Added to lovely and oh-so-comfortable bloat, I look . . pregnant.  At a time when most women are not really showing at all.  I'm self-conscious, because you're not really supposed to tell people that you're pregnant this early on (though I do not believe in superstition, nor do I think a loss would be something that needs to be hidden under veils of secrecy) so it's . . awkward.  Also I am down to about 3 outfits that fit.  I've gained 3-4 lbs (I always gain more in the first tri than one is 'supposed' to, but it evens out later) but it feels like more.

NAUSEA/EATING:  I don't think my aversions and nausea were this strong in prior pregnancies.  Too bad, because it's definitely what is bothering me most.  I have some degree of  nausea ALL DAY LONG except when I am actively chewing and swallowing food.  The second I stop it comes roaring back.  It gets exponentially worse if I dare to go more than 2.5-3 hrs without food.  

I only seem to like:
- sandwiches (of course would LOVE a good deli turkey sandwich probably b/c I'm not supposed to eat that)
- cheese
- plain yogurt
- fruit esp berries
- bagels & cream cheese

I hate:
- chocolate
- coffee (but I drink a cup anyway in the morning b/c I can't add caffeine withdrawal to my misery)
- sweet things other than fruits and sometimes jam
- mostly everything else

Honestly, if I could get rid of the nausea and aversions I'd be over the moon.  It appears that at 12-13 weeks things really improved for me last time (not sure with Annabel) so I'm hoping that I'm on the downslope . . . maybe . . though I don't feel that way.

EXERCISE:  Due to being tired & nauseated, running is not going so well. I went 3 times last week for about 45 min each (adding 2 min walk breaks between miles b/c it's getting HOT and I'm short of breath and tired) but only on Tuesday so far this week.  I have not done any other kind of exercise for months.  It's pretty lame.  I'm hoping when I get my 2nd tri energy surge back I can resume some barre or prenatal yoga.

KIDS: Yep, we told Annabel & Cameron.  My miscarriage risk at this point is ~5-6%, and my risk of chromosomal anomalies is still <1%, though it is more than double what it was last time (!).  SO, while there is a relatively small but real possibility of having to give them sad news at a later point, I felt the benefits of a) explaining why mommy doesn't feel good and b) letting them share our joy (because there has to be SOMETHING positive in the first tri!?) outweighed that risk.  I also came clean at work for the same reasons.  Plus, honestly I think the secrecy just adds to the torture.  I hate secrets!

TTC: As many of you know, the road to Annabel's pregnancy was tough and long.  Cameron was a very happy surprise, and #3 was - well, faster than expected.  I took out my copper IUD in Feb, so . . yeah!  I am sharing this in the hopes that some people with primary infertility (seriously, pre-Annabel I never ovulated AT ALL) might have different experiences down the road.  Very thankful (and still guarded but thankful things went so quickly up to this point).  

Looking forward to:  Genetic screening blood draw at 10-11 weeks.  Cannot WAIT to have those results.  (Not for gender, honestly I don't care, but for all of the chromosomal info).

SOOOO - I think that's it for updates.  I will return with some non-pg-themed posts soon I hope.