Tuesday, April 22, 2014

maternity leave reflection

As my maternity leave is coming to close (I'm back to work next Friday, May 2nd), I am realizing how incredibly great it has been.  Having the opportunity to be with my children yet NOT be in charge of most of the household tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc) has been amazing -- not to mention the fact that I could take breaks at will when needed during the day (like right now).  I am completely aware of how lucky I am to have enjoyed this time.

I have written a lot about things I want to improve/change, but I do not want to give off the impression that I am not happy.  To the contrary:  I am.  Taken as a whole, I love my life.  I am incredibly thankful for my marriage, my job, my family, and my two healthy beautiful children.  The fact that I have . . . things that I want to work on does not and should not detract from that simple truth.

In fact, the more I think about it, the things that I do want to change are more about waking up to enjoy exactly what I have right now.  Getting my head out of the clouds (or iCloud, as the case may be . . . ), feeling energetic and healthy, connecting with others -- these are all things that I want in order to make sure I am not wasting the precious gifts that are already THERE all around me.  But I realize that sometimes I need to stop thinking about making things 'better' and take a good, long look around to see what is already there.

I haven't gotten dressed today, but I have smiled, hugged, kissed, nourished, and loved.  I've learned what it is to take care of 2 children at once, and I've had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking, about life -- and about myself.  It's been an amazing past couple of months.