Tuesday, July 02, 2013

the details

well, a summary
because at 7:31 pm, my bedtime is fast approaching.

oh MY i forgot how much i dislike the first trimester.  last time, i had stars in my eyes -- i had yearned for a baby for so long, and i was grateful every day even just to be reminded that i really was pregnant.

this time, i'm still grateful.  but not as distracted by the miracle of life, and therefore i am . . . noting more how much the beginning of pregnancy is basically terrible.


i have a gross taste in my mouth at all times [there's even a name for it!  dysgeusia]
i am extremely tired [like, extremely]
i am extremely unmotivated and sluggish
i feel huge and feel like i am showing already, which is completely ridiculous at this point because our little one is the size of a blueberry.  
i already wake up 2-3x/night to go to the bathroom [this happened to me very early last time, too]
nausea quelled only by carbs, carbs, carbs
weird food aversions and attractions

that's basically it.  last time, i remember all of these magically abating and feeling like a rock star around 12 weeks.  and the rest of pregnancy treated me pretty well -- i remember having pretty good energy and was able to run the day before delivery at 40 weeks!  but the first part is the worst.  only 5ish weeks  to go!

7 weeks

you know it's just the beginning when "baby" requires a label

7 weeks this week.  so, i feel like i can only consider myself 'a little bit pregnant', despite the above.  i know there is no guarantee that this pregnancy will work out, so the baby is just a theoretical construct at this point.

gotta start somewhere . . .

i know that many of you followed along in my drawn out and rather painful infertility journey and were wondering what went on this time around.  the truth is:  absolutely nothing.  we weren't trying, and this was a total shock.  i was still running -- 27 miles the week before i found out -- and at a BMI that did not seem to let me cycle normally before, even though it is in the 'normal' range.

given my history, i did not have any desire to use birth control after annabel, so i didn't.  [plus, i figured that any surprise baby would be a happy surprise -- which this definitely is!].  annabel had her last breastfeeding session sometime in mid-april.  i never experienced a period, which was pretty much status quo for me before, so i didn't think about it too much.

until one day in june i felt some twinges that felt . . . well, a lot like the twinges of early pregnancy i had with annabel.  i ordered a 25-pack of tests on amazon [figuring . . what were the odds, REALLY?  do you know how many negative tests i've taken!!?] and was shocked to find two dark lines staring back at me on a monday night.

this picture was taken right after finding out
[cut off b/c a. happened to be naked for some reason :) ]

josh was instantly thrilled, though also quite surprised given my history!  i have to admit i had an initial few days of panic [they are going to KILL me at my job! child care! finances! omgomgomg how am i going to deal with two kids at the grocery store!?] and then i got used to the idea and now am very excited too.  i really hope things work out.

i'm planning on telling my job right after i start in august - i will be about 13 weeks then [and at this rate, probably in full-on maternity gear].  question for any MDs who have gone through this:  any tips for how to approach this?  i would ideally like 12 weeks of maternity leave [happy to take any/all of it unpaid and would rather NOT use my vacation] but could also probably survive with 10.  i'm thinking i should offer to take extra call before to make up for the time later -- does that make sense?  

because i will only have worked for ~6 months by the time i deliver, FMLA will not apply for me . . . and i won't have much vacation time accrued, either.  just fervently hoping they will not completely flip out when i tell them the news. 

gratuitous pic, but so pretty
i can't believe this little muffin is going to be a big sister!!