Sunday, May 12, 2013

may reboot: progress report

making progress
i was basically a big mess by the end of april, so i am pleased to report that i am making progress on action steps, and that may has been a far better month . . . at least so far.

my goals were:

1.  no more iPhone in bed.  check.  and it will STAY out.

2.  get out from under my to-do list, and consolidate so that it's all in one place.  
i haven't reached inbox zero [and i'm not sure i ever will . . .] but life feels more under control.  there are still so many checkboxes that need to be filled before i finish fellowship, and that makes me nervous.  but generations of others have done it, so i probably need to calm down and try to enjoy the last couple of months.

by the way, a couple of people have emailed me re: my erin condren planner.  i do want to post a follow up review, but the short version is yes, i still love it.  i am definitely planning on getting another one for next year.  given my love of so many different stationery brands, that's saying something!

3.  plan in time that is just for me.  well -- harder to answer this one.  i did enjoy some me-time recently, but this was while in DC for my conference.  this weekend i'm on call, and the next two josh are on call.  maybe i'll consider booking a babysitter [or my sister?] for a few hours on one of those weekend days.

one thing that i have done recently is to actually start getting up later.  instead of trying [and often failing] to run on the treadmill before annabel wakes up, i've been just taking her out on the stroller.  this has two side benefits:

a) i can stay up a little later [and gain some much-needed unwinding time]

b) i think the stroller runs are quite a good workout and i'm feeling a little faster on non-Bob runs

one day i even ran the stroller to day care [1.8 miles] and ran home!  it's actually quite a nice way to do things, as i can then shower worry-free.

i have to say that when i'm running, rested, organized, and not pressed for time i am about 8 million times happier.  i am a better doctor, wife, mother -- basically a better person.

now just to try to stay that way!

and finally:  a very happy mother's day
two years ago, all i could think about was becoming a mother.  i was filled with doubts and insecurities about how long it would take to happen, and i remember being acutely aware of my failure to conceive on that bright may day in 2011.

one year ago, i was newly minted mom.  in a sleepy adrenaline-laced haze, i'm not sure i could string two thoughts together to even describe how i felt on mother's day, but i tried.

mini-bel and her very happy, very NEW mom

today, i no longer feel the need to use the adjective "new" when describing my maternal role.  it feels comfortable and normal.  life is definitely messier and more tiring but it is also so much brighter and more fun.  so thankful to be a mother on this special day.

one year later!

[and thankful to josh who surprised me with earrings AND flowers AND a mother's day breakfast before i had to go in to round!]