Wednesday, February 06, 2013

sooooo . . .

when i [finally] got pregnant,
i was incredibly happy.  but in writing here, i had to be vague for the first several weeks.  keeping it mum on the blog was difficult, and i felt blocked whenever i did try to write anything -- because i really wasn't thinking of much else, and therefore anything i had to say felt disingenuous.

so . . . just to clarify, no, i'm not pregnant.

but if you noticed i had stopped begging the universe to allow things to fall into my favor so that i could get hired -- in a rather specific geographic location during a specific time frame in a specific specialty --

[aka, it was a little nerve racking] --

i will confirm that YES, it looks like i'm going to be gainfully employed after fellowship!  i am not going to publish too many details but if you read this and are curious you can always email me.

11 years
of post-graduate training.  one minute i feel ready to dive in; the next i am terrified.  i'm so relieved -- and also nervous.  and it's thrown me into a bit of a tailspin because i'm trying to focus on the present [REALLY trying] but there's just so much to think about re: the future.

i'm also tired, feeling a little burned out, and failing at 100% of my february goals.   [*$@#! -- i mean, oops.]

i think, to be quite honest, that i need a little time to reflect on my own and just catch up on rest.  so, i'll be back in a week or so.  but i wanted to let this out so that i can come back and write honestly again!


promise, this is the last bathroom-mirror-selfie i will publish.  but just look at her FACE.

see you all soon!