i'm feeling more centered this week.
this is interesting, as i'm actually pretty sleep deprived [out on the later side celebrating my sister's 30th bday last night = worth it]. but i honestly think that writing out my current annoyances -- and some daily goals to combat them -- really did have a positive effect.
one thing that has helped is writing down some goals that i'd love to do daily, or close to it. i am not meeting them all [or coming close] but . . . somehow seeing that doing everything i want to do in a 24 hour period is actually impossible is strangely comforting. as in: it helps me realize that 'failure' is truly not my fault. even with the best of intentions and when everything goes smoothly [like today!], i can't do everything.
but i'm doing enough.
things on the lofty list:
read for 15 minutes each night
eat 90% healthy
wear a decent outfit every day
be present for babybel
avoid wasting time on the internet
get to work on time and without rushing
drink 8 glasses of water daily
take mother's milk plus 3x/day + prenatal vitamin daily*
spend 15 minutes sorting through wardrobe daily
i'm not doing very well on -- oh, most of the above. especially flossing, wardrobe sorting, reading, and water intake. but today i've had quality time with annabel, got to work at a reasonable hour, and just finished an interval workout [9 x 400m]. we did cook [together] but i'm not sure if our burger dinner would qualify as healthy:
yes, that is BUTTER because josh wanted to make wisconsin burgers that he had read about somewhere. but: the above is his plate!
i did not let him slather my burger like the above and i had 1, not 2.
still, healthy? ehh. . .
just because i decided to pay a little more attention, i've also noticed that certain very little things really do make me -- well, happier. i feel like i always come back to dressing decently, but having an ill-fitting / slovenly outfit can ruin my day. should it? perhaps not, but it does. today, i wore my new toms desert wedges.
i think these are a fine line between edgy and dorky -- but hopefully i'm treading it on the good side
i had an extra spring in my step as a result, and it wasn't just the cushy soles.
so maybe happiness anxiety has two sides.
because while i really liked this ny times opinionator piece [thank you anne for sending this!], i'm in a better mood this week.
random aside [and gratuitous pic]
heartbreaking: when a falls asleep on the 5 minute ride to day care, and i have to wake her in order to drop her off. she gets up quite early sometimes and therefore i KNOW she needs to nap . . . yet when she gets there, she's so psyched [toys! friends! colors! noise!] that it never happens for hours. i've actually decided not to stress about it because a) what am i going to do? and b) it doesn't seem to be harming her in any way, but in the moment it's always a little bit pitiful.
* i am the ABSOLUTE WORST about remembering to take medications. the only thing i was ever good about was my fertility pills/shots and prenatal vitamins [while pregnant]! and even that was challenging.