Thursday, September 06, 2012

intentional living

i mentioned that i was feeling a bit sad after heading back to work on tuesday.  all of those days with annabel were so nice, and then BAM.  i'm not saying i'd rather stay at home all of the time -- i still feel like the hybrid working-mother lifestyle is the right one for me.  

but sometimes it just feels like a race from one must-do to the next.  instead of getting to spend much quality time with a. in the morning [when she's in the best mood!] i'm frantically pumping, gathering up my workday paraphernalia, and trying to shower.  my post-work routine is no better:  the time at home with her feels so fleeting as a. goes to bed [she's exhausted] at 6:45 pm.  i've generally been able to get in my workouts, but lately after dinner josh and i have been collapsing on the couch and watching mindless tv.  

i think i'm just feeling a little sad because there's this nagging feeling that i'm missing it.  only i'm not even sure what "it" is, let alone how to grab hold and feel grounded again.  

i know i need to stop worrying about certain little things and start appreciating the big ones.

i know that i need to relax a bit and remember that i am allowed to ENJOY motherhood.

i know that i need to take care of myself, but that i need to be very intentional with my time and energy.  and a big part of that intention is to include plenty of room to just sit back and bask in this:

blurry, but i think you can tell that miss a. enjoyed her sweet potatoes

lots to think about.