sitting here trying to think of something to write about [sometimes that happens], i felt something. a little tiny popping thing in the location of my uterus. i'll never have proof, but i'm wondering if it was the first detectable kick!?
it's true: the road to a baby feels like the world's longest waiting game sometimes! our baby girl is due to arrive in early april 2012 [although late march would be JUST fine with me] and i have been at least thinking about the possibility of having her since i stopped my seasonale in january 2009. that's kind of ridiculous when you think about it.
wait #1: to ovulate just once --> ~ 1.5 years
wait #2: to conceive --> 1 year [ie, 2.5 years total]
wait #3: to confirm rising betas --> a week
wait #4: to see the heartbeat --> 2 more weeks
wait #5: to get to the magical 2nd tri + NT scan --> 6 weeks
wait #6: to get to anatomy scan + find out baby's sex --> 5 weeks [except we cheated here and made it 3]
wait #7: to feel baby move --> still not sure!
wait #8: to get to viability --> 5-6 more weeks
wait #9: to pass the scary window of 'viable but would be VERY VERY VERY SICK' --> 5-6 more weeks [to the 3rd tri]
wait #10: to go into labor --> 10 - 14 more weeks
wait #11 [the most physically excruciating!] to deliver --> ??? hours
and then . . .
i'm sure waiting begins again! after all, there are SO many milestones for baby to hit, many of which are incredibly fun [smiling], life-altering [um, sleeping through the night?], exciting [first steps!!]. and by the time that happens, i'll probably be ready to start trying for the next one. <-- mind-boggling at this point, but true.
i really struggled with waiting while TTC [i wrote about it here]. but even then, i at least tried to be conscious of not just wishing away the time between eagerly-awaited events.
now, i feel like i'm doing a lot better. it helps that the timeline is fairly clear, rather than the completely nebulous waits #1 and #2. but i've been better about NOT stressing over poor outcomes or wishing i was further along and just appreciating the beauty of today.
what is wonderful about NOW:
★ i get to provide my tiny developing baby with everything she needs while going to work and going about a normal day!
★ i am feeling absolutely great. no really annoying pregnancy symptoms to speak of right now.
★ i look pregnant enough to the point where i get to discuss it with people i meet or tell people i haven't seen for a while, which is fun.
★ i am out of the window for most pregnancy losses and i know from our anatomy scan that the baby appears healthy and to have all of the normal parts.
★ i am working in the hospital [which i like!] but still have enough time to do other things.
anyway, feeling that [possible] kick this AM just reinforced things for me: there is absolutely no rush to the finish line that is life. the object is not to 'get to tomorrow'; it's to enjoy and have the best TODAY that i can.
workout: 3 mi run, 9:53/mi. the usual loop! it was pretty cold [40F] but definitely not too bad.
dinner date: but not with josh! he had a work function to attend, and i headed out to dinner with my friend kara at revolution. i have photographed a few meals there [here, here, and lunch here] so i left the camera home, but i assure you all it was fantastic as always! i have never been disappointed in a meal there and am thrilled that it is ~0.5 miles from our doorstep.
we shared an escarole salad with pickled cauliflower, anchovies, and tomatoes to start, which was light, fresh, and lemony. for an entrée, i had mountain trout with chinese broccoli, shiitake mushroms, and pork belly, which was wonderful, while kara had shrimp risotto which i tasted and also liked a lot. somehow, we even had room for dessert -- and despite ordering just one valrhona chocolate tiramisu to share, the waiter brought two because our first choice dessert was out [pumpkin creme caramel]. we had a great time chatting + catching up. apparently we were in the same 1st grade classroom -- so we've known each other for at least 25 years!! amazing.
espanol: check. unit 2 = more challenging!
endo: check. finally finished the genetic defects section and moved on to androgen synthesis defects.