i've written about this many times before, but i am STILL not 100% there when it comes to making the most out of my unstructured time in the lab. the good news is that i am getting busier, and with more to do, some days go by more quickly. but other times, i find my motivation waning.
✔ on the up-side, i know what i want to do with my life! [see patients! not do research!]
✘ on the down-side, i have 2 more years [minus 12 weeks of maternity leave] left of fellowship, and of those remaining months, 15 of them will be spent in the lab.
i have thought a lot about what i want to get out of those 15 months [hint: it's not another grant to do more research!]. ideally:
★ i will publish at least one paper of original research, preferably in a decent journal. even though i want to work as a clinician, from what i have heard i do think this will help me to get a job.
★ i will polish my project and time-management techniques -- those necessary to make good use of unstructured time and to pull a large project towards completion
★ i will maintain a good work-life balance. i want to work hard enough to feel good about my efforts but i also want to enjoy the benefits of a more flexible schedule, with more time for me + family [mostly important for after baby, but let's not discount now, either!]
★ i will spend time on what is important, making sure to fit in time for clinically-related reading and projects. i want to come out of this fellowship prepared to be an great clinician.
of course, these goals are still somewhat abstract, but with some motivation-related struggles, it really does help me to lay out exactly what i'd like to get out of the next two years.
[side note: for some time, i shied away from writing about my feelings about basic science research/lab work, because i worried that perhaps someone might read it and deny me a future career. however, i have since decided that i want to be nothing but honest and upfront about what i want to do when i complete my training, because i want to be hired for someone that values me for what my true goals and aspirations are! so, yeah.]
so i've been avoiding my favorite yoga studio.
i just feel stuck in a weird zone: i'm not really wanting to do headstands and attempt weird balances in my current state, but i don't feel 'pregnant enough' for prenatal yoga. in addition, before this week i really just didn't FEEL like doing much else other than my 3x/week runs. but now with some energy again, i really want to get some strength back.
because this DVD confirmed that i have definitely lost some. warriors felt much harder than i remembered, and even just a simple chatauranga [the dvd actually doesn't include these but i added a few] is hard for me now! sure, my chest is a little heavier, but for the most part i think it's withered muscle -- in just 2 months away from yoga and weights.
i definitely liked the above dvd [here it is on amazon]. it came recommended by a fellow vinyasa devotee, and i tried the 45-minute sequence last night. i found that it had plenty to keep me challenged and interested! i am excited to try the other flows, and plan on continuing this practice throughout the next 29 weeks with modifications along the way as needed.
still not cookin'
if there's one thing i still haven't completely gotten over, it's my kitchen avoidance. this might explain last night's dinner:
some greens might have gone nicely with this veg. pot pie but i haven't managed any proper grocery shopping yet since LA. at least i had a giant salad for lunch! so happy to have my 'normal' tastes back.
and speaking of tastes:
everyone should taste this. it's fantastic!
man, this post is all over the place! feel free to share any work wisdom, prenatal dvd recommendations, or sorbet/ice cream favorites! enjoy wednesday.