Thursday, August 18, 2011

live from RDU

well, hello!
and THANK YOU so much for your overwhelming love + support yesterday! josh and i both appreciate it and someday the baby will too, when s/he has more than, like, 10 brain cells. i am currently sitting in the RDU airport eating a second breakfast [bagel, egg + cheese -- yum] and waiting to head out to philadelphia for HLS #3. i remember hoping last year that it would be the my last one -- not because i was tired of blogging hi-jinks, but because i wanted to be either in ultra-preggo or new-mom mode by now!

i guess things just work out in strange ways sometimes, because instead i'll be the nauseated one, shunning alcohol but eating every 2 hours and going to bed by 10.

[we'll just pretend that's radically different from my usual rockin' lifestyle. although admittedly the "no alcohol" part is a change.]

i'm staying with my parents tonight, and am super-excited to pick up miss allie at the train station this afternoon [she's staying with us for the night before we both head downtown for convenient hotel accomodations]. i'm really looking forward to hanging out with far-flung friends, new and old!

a brief Q & A
a few of you posed some questions in the comments, and i realize i have a LOT to catch y'all up on [ie, the last 5 weeks!]. here's at least a start . . .

AHHH! how did you find out?
well, being in TTC mode for, oh, 2.5 years kind of takes the mystery and romance out of all of this. i could probably tell you the exact dates of the last 5 times i ovulated [upon consulting my planner, anyway]. entering my last 2-week wait, i didn't have super-high hopes. i took letrozole [aka femara] this cycle, and ended up with a really long and drawn out waiting period before ovulating [seriously -- something like 27 days]. however, i kept going back for repeated ultrasounds and then it happened -- one 19 mm follicle, ready to go. 8 days later, testing commenced. the first time i got a negative. the next time [yes, the day of the suspicious smile!] - i got a positive.


not that impressive, huh? but when i saw that line, i just started sobbing. for some reason, my first instinct was that there was something wrong with the test and OH WHY WAS THE WORLD TOYING WITH ME LIKE THAT?? after coming to my senses and peeing on another [cheap, internet] stick, i saw the super-faint line again. IT WAS THERE.

yayyy!!! so, home free, right??
you know, i always thought that was how i would feel after finally getting that second line. but instead, it spun me off into an anxiety spiral. WAS IT REAL? WOULD IT STAY?? it didn't help that my first beta HCG reading was just 20. this is a positive value, but super low! however, it was very early. several days later, i was reassured by a repeat of 202 and then 2 days later a 488. i truly didn't begin to feel comfortable that something was REALLY in there, though, until i saw/heard it on tuesday. i'm 7 1/2 weeks as of now.

what kinds of symptoms have you had?
if you're a man, or if you're been pregnant before, this is probably boring to you. feel free to skip ahead! but i know that as a TTC-er and as a newly pregnant lady i was obsessed with hearing about others' symptoms. so, only fair to share my own, right?

hunger: i was STARVING during weeks 4 and 5! actually, sometimes i still am. i thought i was crazy for feeling this way so early, but it turns out that others had the same thing happen to them. i have been pretty much just honoring what my body is telling me and eating a lot. hopefully i won't end up gaining 60 lbs and regretting that!

heart rate: i can definitely tell a difference on my runs -- my heart rate and breathing pick up faster than they used to. and yes, i'm still running! i just slow it down any time i start to feel like it's really hard work, and i'm only doing ~30 minutes 3-4 times/week.

happy to just still be out there!

fatigue: yesssss. i THOUGHT this started super-early, but in retrospect that may have just been the aftermath of quitting caffeine. in the past 2 weeks, though, i've been sleepier than i've ever been before -- and to those who know me well, that's saying something. typically, i arrive home from work and then just plant myself on the couch for the evening until it's time to go to bed [ie, 9:30]. that is why i've struggled so much with cooking! so nice to be able to explain myself.

food aversions/cravings: this has been perhaps the wildest part for me, because i really didn't expect it [especially this early!]. however, my tastes have completely changed. that breakfast i ate every day for like, the past 3 years? i can't even imagine wanting it. i'm really anti-nut-butter right now, and that both shocks and saddens me. i generally am not a fan of sweet things right now, either, unless they are sweet/tart [lemonade, tart fro yo].

what have i wanted? bagels, cream cheese [which i didn't even like before], cheese of any kind, sushi [cooked], asian noodles, salty things. i haven't bought pickles yet, but now that i write that out, they sound good . . .

nausea: sadly, yes. this has just started about 2 weeks ago, but is probably the most annoying symptom that i have. i have not had any vomiting [thankfully!] so clearly my case is not severe, but i start to feel really seasick if i go more than 2-3 hours without eating. it could be much, MUCH worse, so i'll just leave it at that!

there are some others [ummm, i need to go bra shopping] but i think i'll leave it at that, despite the fact that i probably left TMI behind long long ago.

what are you doing for workouts?
pretty much what i was doing before while TTC, but with more random gratuitous rest days thrown in. this week i ran on monday and wednesday and also went to yoga last night. i plan to continue running [my slow, short runs!] for as long as i can, but i think i'd also like to start taking some walks. i haven't been motivated to lift weights [sorry, lac] but i will force myself to get back on it!

so, will you blog??
of course :) i can't promise that i'll have time to log on daily if things do work out for us 33 weeks from now, but i have no plans to leave it behind. writing here is an amazing outlet for me [it's my one creative endeavor!] and the community aspect of it is so much fun! so i do not think i could leave it behind, motherhood or no.

i don't plan on turning it into a pregnancy or 'mommy-blog' per se, but i tend to write about what's at the forefront of my mind, so i am sure these topics will come up quite a bit.

does anthro have a baby line?
no, but orla kiely has a diaper bag.

just sayin'