an admission

September 21, 2010

living up to high expectations
many of you surprised and delighted me by jumping out of the woodwork last week in the comment section of this post. i was struck (and hugely flattered) by the number of readers who said that they admired my ability to handle such a busy lifestyle while continuing to live a balanced/healthy life.

well, i don’t want to disappoint you all. and even worse, i hate coming short of my own expectations for myself! but yesterday i felt neither healthy, balanced, nor productive.

■ i was a giant stress-ball all day at work. every principle of mindfulness that i have ever written about? out the proverbial window. the dalai lama could have floated into clinic ready to bestow his wisdom upon me, and i wouldn’t have been able to listen.

■ i didn’t get my studying in, and i am now behind in my master plan (yeah, just one day so far, but still).

■ “dinner” was chips and salsa, with a cold slice of leftover pizza thrown in for good measure. yeah, how do you like my healthy lifestyle now???

■ i have what feels like 50 odds-and-ends to do, ranging from paying bills to booking a hotel for a beach weekend (because clearly, i need one!), to calling patients to follow up on results for work. and i feel very uneasy about my ability to get it all done in a timely manner, without unraveling.

obviously, i am not thrilled about my life’s current state of disarray. and sometimes — i’ll admit it — it adds insult to injury feeling like i will disappoint all of you as well!

so, i guess i’m just hoping that this isn’t the case, and that today is a better day.

7 Comments

  • Reply Sarah March 10, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    PS I hope today is better for you!

  • Reply Sara March 10, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    Aww, Sarah! I think it&#39s more that you are able to maintain an overall healthy lifestyle and balance of organization that we all admire. Everyone has their bad days! The fact that even MOST days you manage to eat decently, work out, and have a house that isn&#39t a mess is impressive to me. I can&#39t remember the last time I finished everything on my to do list, and you are such an inspiration to those of us who are also striving to &#39do it all&#39!

  • Reply Susan Mc March 10, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    Hey SHU! You will think this is totally whack… or you will TOTALLY get it…
    but where oh where did you get the spiral notebook featured in your "organization" tab in the extra hour section that is graph paper AND… wait for it…
    different colored tabbed sections behind it?
    I am in love and totally coveting that notebook!
    P.S. I find great comfort in this post, because as much as I&#39m inspired by your focus and planning (and love of all things paper) it is incredibly comforting to know you&#39re human… that&#39s what keeps me coming back!
    Susan Mc 🙂

  • Reply MS March 10, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    I, too, agree with all the above. As a recovering perfectionist, it helps me tremendously to know that the other folks I see out there who seem to always have it together aren&#39t perfect either. We&#39re all just human!

    I had to look up this quote because I couldn&#39t quite remember it, and it&#39s perfect for today:
    "You may have a fresh start at any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down."
    – Mary Pickford

  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    Don&#39t be so hard on yourself. We all have off days. Just keep thinking about that beach vacation 😛

  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    I know you didn&#39t want to have ongoing talk about babies but really, this is great practice for how things will be with kids. Its an opportunity to try to let stress go when life interferes with the best of plans. Hang in there; just keep the pace and it will even out.

  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    Haha. You can&#39t disappoint us! We&#39ll just keep coming back 😉 Here&#39s hoping you get a wave of calm and peace coming your way. BTW, loved your restaurant post!! I was going to suggest Butternut Squash (vegetarian/vegan restaurant) on Franklin Street, b/c I walked by it the other night and the menu sounded amazing, but I haven&#39t actually had a chance to try it yet. Hubs isn&#39t really into veg food 😉

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