living up to high expectations
many of you surprised and delighted me by jumping out of the woodwork last week in the comment section of this post. i was struck (and hugely flattered) by the number of readers who said that they admired my ability to handle such a busy lifestyle while continuing to live a balanced/healthy life.
well, i don't want to disappoint you all. and even worse, i hate coming short of my own expectations for myself! but yesterday i felt neither healthy, balanced, nor productive.
■ i was a giant stress-ball all day at work. every principle of mindfulness that i have ever written about? out the proverbial window. the dalai lama could have floated into clinic ready to bestow his wisdom upon me, and i wouldn't have been able to listen.
■ i didn't get my studying in, and i am now behind in my master plan (yeah, just one day so far, but still).
■ "dinner" was chips and salsa, with a cold slice of leftover pizza thrown in for good measure. yeah, how do you like my healthy lifestyle now???
■ i have what feels like 50 odds-and-ends to do, ranging from paying bills to booking a hotel for a beach weekend (because clearly, i need one!), to calling patients to follow up on results for work. and i feel very uneasy about my ability to get it all done in a timely manner, without unraveling.
obviously, i am not thrilled about my life's current state of disarray. and sometimes -- i'll admit it -- it adds insult to injury feeling like i will disappoint all of you as well!
so, i guess i'm just hoping that this isn't the case, and that today is a better day.