i sort of can't believe i only have 2 overnight calls left. after nearing the end of my very first call month, i wrote that being on call was like "building a house of cards, outside, during tornado season, in kansas, while very very sleep deprived."
totally scary picture from google images
now that i've spent nearly 100 overnights in the hospital, i actually don't think this desciption fits anymore. don't get me wrong: i'm just as tired (if not more so). however, when i do get to lie down, i don't lie there trembling that the code pager might go off; instead, i fall dead asleep in about 30 seconds. i've learned the magical combination of cafeteria foods that will sustain me past midnight [big spinach salad with some kind of protein + stacy's pita chips, for anyone curious]. i feel like i can handle the emergencies that arise -- at least for the 5 minutes before backup shows up in the form of our rapid response team.
however, while i've made progress in the level of difficulty part, call nights still feel like an endurance race that i want to quit about 70% of the way through (right around the time that the ER calls me about YET ANOTHER ADMISSION). i still don't think that working 30 hour shifts is the right way to safely practice medicine, or to learn to be a good physician.
and i'm glad to be leaving them behind.
(for those wondering, i will take call from home during my fellowship for 7 days every 3rd week . . . but it would be very unusual to actually have to get up and go into the hospital. this will be a different experience entirely).
((and for those thinking about medical school, wondering if i'd do this again? i'm not 100% sure. i like pediatrics and i have learned/grown a lot; luckily, i think i will love the career i eventually settle into. but i often wonder if i would have been just as happy doing something else that didn't require all of these years of indentured servitude.))
dinner + a movie
i think takeout + a dvd = one of the best combinations for sunday nights. relaxing, somewhat indulgent, and cozy.
takeout from red lotus: summer roll, tofu with vegetables, brown rice
and some weirdness in the form of where the wild things are. i haven't made up my mind about this movie yet -- we're only halfway through. but i do like the soundtrack, and i think that max could benefit from some adderall.