thank you all for your comments yesterday -- i really needed the support, and you are all insightful and forgiving and nice (except the spammers -- what is UP with that lately??).
i think i am going to just try to give myself a bit of a break this week from my usual goal-happy ways. i'll run (about to head out this morning, actually), but without specific mileage goals in mind. i'll make super-easy dinners. i will take care of myself [eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and the like] and i'll try not to fixate on the 15 projects that i listed in yesterday's post, because i'll have more time later and i need to just focus on doing what i can today. in the moment, as it happens.
my anthro package arrived yesterday! excuse the self-portraits, my uhh . . . photographer was at work.
Q&A of the day
keep asking and i'll keep answering! here is one that made me think:
"i've always wondered . . . what is your most favorite thing about medicine? what do you really not like about it?"
i thought it would be good for me to answer this question since i'm having a bit of a rough week -- it will remind me that everything i'm doing right now has a point, and that this is the path that i consciously chose for myself (rather than something that was 'done to me') -- so the martyr line of thinking needs to go.
■ when i can identify a problem for a patient and fix it
■ thinking through complex cases
■ learning about things that interest me, especially about things that i know i will use in the future
■ getting to know families and see patients grow
■ KIDS*! they make me smile.
■ working with smart coworkers (other doctors, nurses, etc)
■ the variety in my job -- getting to do lots of different things
* although i could do without the ages 12-36 months
■ the hours. what can i say? i want more time for other things.
■ the pager. BAH.
■ working overnights.
■ being forced to learn things that do NOT interest me for the sake of tests
■ procedures. i don't mind the actual procedures, but i hate making kids cry!! if they were anesthetized, i might feel differently.
■ always feeling pressured for time (although some of that is just my own issues that i am working on!)
i think that given the items above, i have chosen well with the field of pediatric endocrinology. i have to remind myself that my endo training is just on the horizon at this point (i start in just 4.5 months! OMG!).
i still think it is best to try to appreciate each day, but when things get tough it's important to remember that i'm on the right path. so thank you to whoever asked this question -- i think i needed the reminder.