Wednesday, February 10, 2010

it's not always easy

perspective. perspective. perspective.
okay, i'll just come out and admit it: i'm feeling totally stressed out and overwhelmed right now. operation yoga + wine was a total fail, as my partner in crime came down with a wicked case of what looked like food poisoning, and i didn't get out of the hospital until 30 minutes after yoga class started.


no matter how much i try to corral everything into to-do lists and plan things in manageable stages, my head is swimming with half a dozen projects and commitments [research proposal! senior talk! QI project! morning case report! procedure issues! medical licensure stuff! BOARDS!] and it just feels overwhelming. i need TIME to work on these things, and i don't see any peaceful blocks up ahead in the near-enough future.

my parents-in-law are coming this weekend (hi B + S!), which is wonderful, except it necessitates an apartment cleanup, and i feel like josh and i are going to be terrible hosts since we will both be working half the weekend. i miss josh, who is on nights again, and there is some career stuff (his, not mine) that is eating away at me daily and won't be resolved for at least a couple of months.

my patient team right now is large and doesn't show signs of shrinking, and i will be playing "resitern" for the next 2 mornings. i feel like i don't know the details of all of the patients as well as i would like to, and i hate that.

finally, the weather is completely disgusting and i seem to have lost the motivation to get up early to work out, which is usually the only thing that keeps me going in times like these.

IT'S OFFICIAL. I'M STRESSED OUT.

and, i feel horrible about even writing that, because hello? i'm taking care of kids with cancer, and this happened not even a month ago. perspective. perspective. PERSPECTIVE, for #($*&$'s sake.

omg. okay. so.
wow, that just all came flowing out. guess i probably could have used that yoga class last night, huh? i am sitting here right now trying to breathe and take things one step at a time, and i will try my best to do that today.

wish me luck.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2.9.10

workout: none [SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T RUN? endorphins are like my prozac.]

i thought that eating some of this for dinner might help:

but really, it didn't (it was delicious, though). with some crackers + baba ghanoush, i almost had all 4 food groups . . .

reading: no.

15 comments:

  1. And now you have to deal with spam comments!

    Sorry to hear life is so stressful right now. I think the weather/time of year doesn't make it any easier. It's dark, it's snowy, and it's still early enough you can't look forward to the end yet. Hang in there. We know you are awesome and will manage to get everything done just like you have during stressful times before.

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  2. Anonymous7:14 AM

    Sarah,

    Hang in there. Do think this may also be associated with coming off night float. Sometimes, getting out of a very stressful period leads to a crash b/c now you have the time to think about all the other things that need to be done. Remember it.will.get.better.

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  3. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have a lot going on. It's okay to be stressed out. Hopefully it'll get better soon.

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  4. Aww...sorry to hear you're stressed out hunnie! I hate that feeling! It helps me to take one day at a time and try to remember to just do the best I can with what I have and to let go of the things out of my control.

    Sending big hugs your way!
    :) Diana

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  5. From one stressed out/overtired person to another: remember it won't last forever!!! Take a minute here and there to center yourself and breathe...easier said than done!

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  6. Hey Sarah!

    Thanks for posting this. I look up to you as a person, and to know that you sometimes get stressed out, makes me feel less guilty about getting stressed out:), and makes you a little more human (because let's face it, you are pretty much super-human most of the time!). Hope things slow a little soon, and you guys enjoy the visitors this weekend!

    -Edith

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  7. It'll all work out. You're doing good work, and even though it is overwhelming right now, it will all normalize very soon. Coconut ice cream is the perfect boost on some nights. Hope today is better.

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  8. Hug - I totally know how you feel, and I'm just a student. I think you do a better job than ANYONE in the medical field I've met at balancing your schedule. I really admire you for it and your blog posts inspire me to make time get that workout in - it is comforting to see you are human too though ;) PS - So Delicious may not help but it certainly temporarily numbs the pain!

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  9. i totally feel you about the stress! perspective is key and just keep in mind that life fluctuates so this craziness will eventually end. that's what i keep telling myself

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  10. Sarah, I echo the others (not the spammers, though). You are an inspiration. I read your blog because you make it happen everyday. This is just a little swing of the pendulum, a tip of the seesaw. It's part of the normal ebb and flow. You'll find the center again. Your momentum will quickly return. Remember, you're allowed the downtime. It is encouraged - and it is not necessary to schedule it ahead of time.

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  11. Sorry life is so hectic for you right now. Just take it minute by minute when it gets rough..and I always like telling myself to "breathe". take a few baby steps toward your goals.

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  12. You are so organized all the time and it's ok if you don't get everything done!

    How is that "ice cream"? I've seen it before but I don't like coconut--can you taste the coconut or does it just taste like cookie dough?

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  14. atilla5:31 AM

    love the resitern label... just wait til u get to play attendotern

    ReplyDelete
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