overthinking

it’s official: i’m tired.
i long for a day that i wake up in the morning in my bed, and go to sleep at night in that same bed. sounds like a simple, reasonable request, yes? except that it hasn’t happened for 2 weeks.
not my bed, but i rather like it

i wish night float was over. if this were a normal-length block, i’d be headed into my last night float shift tonight and would be transitioning back to a normal day/night schedule STAT while heaving a nice sigh of relief. unfortunately, this is one of the odd long blocks (ie, more than 4 weeks) in my residency schedule. these blocks are quite a boon if you are lucky to be on something like “pulmonary elective” but not so much when it means more overnights in the hospital.

so, it’s time to suck it up and get in gear for one more week of this odd way of living. interestingly, it’s been easy to get workouts in and keep our house reasonably in order. we’ve even gotten in some good cooking (although this week martha was sadly neglected). the main problem is simple: it’s sleep-debt. i think i was so spoiled by several months straight of well-restedness that it’s hard to go back to the feeling of ALWAYS being ready for a nap.

my body is not fooled by my valiant attempts at catchup sleep. my skin looks like total crap, i have headaches, i feel lazy, and my lust for coffee in the morning has reached desperate new heights. magazines publish tantalizing articles about ‘eating for energy!’ or ‘workouts that make you feel great!’. but what i have discovered is that unfortunately when it comes to my body, there is no amount of healthy food or exercise that is going to bypass the need for nightly rest.

hopefully tonight’s call will be a good one! meaning, one with quiet patients and long stretches of REM.

apartment therapy
we don’t entertain at home the way we used to when we lived in a house, but we had our friend m. over for dinner last night. this got me thinking about our extremely humble living quarters. there are some things that i like about our apartment: small size, good amount of storage space, lots of light, and an extremely convenient location. however, our furniture is pretty much just . . . terrible. a hodgepodge assortment of el cheapo post-college selections, with no real unifying style — or really any style at all.

our kitchen table is one of those $30 vinyl deals from target. our bureau is ugly and broken in several places. the coffee table is chipped and has seen better days. and don’t even get me started on the 1990s-era TV stand — no TV, mind you, just the stand — smack dab in the center of our living room holding up the printer and a random assortment of DVDs.

i feel ambivalent about this for a few reasons. one is that i think of our apartment in chapel hill as sort of a transitional place. we are, after all, headed for miami in 4 years. another is that i think i would rather spend time and money on fun vacations and activities, as well as saving for the future. and finally — and this may be the biggest reason — while i like pretty things, i am just not a very visual person when it comes to my surroundings. i tend to tune everything out anyway! so would i just be fixing things up to impress guests, or do i actually care? hard to tell.

vickie recommended the book apartment therapy to us when we made our downsizing move. the book features an “8-step home cure” where you analyze what is wrong with your current space and devote time and money to making it work for you. there are multiple vignettes in the book where rearranging furniture seems to lead to a better life (new job! new girlfriend! total happiness!) for formerly sad and lonely new york hipsters who are now entertaining at home every friday night.

i suppose these tales of success are supposed to be inspirational, and you know what? they are. reading the book totally does make me want to work on improving my surroundings. you only live once, right? so why not live in some STYLE? but then my ambivalence creeps back and i wonder if life really does change for the better — or at all — just because the container that one lives in is decorated to look prettier. something to think about on my long run . . .

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6.6.09

workout: 45 minutes elliptical + weights (upper-body only because i’m doing a longer run today and didn’t want my legs to be sore)
– pushups, 2 x 12
– tricep push-downs, 2 x 10, 10 lbs
– forward/lateral raises, 2 x 10 each side, 6 lbs
– bicep curls on bosu, 2 x 10, 12 lbs
– seated rows, 2 x 10, 40 lbs
– abs: 2 x 15 reverse crunches, 2 x 15 bicycles

doin’ time: see yesterday’s post. it wasn’t by martha, but it was still very good.

reading: 15 PREP questions completed after a rather large glass of wine. i think i am smarter sober, but i am glad i managed to put in the time.

flossing: yes, back on the wagon.