SNAP

hear that?

it’s not icicles crunching, or a leftover candy cane being split into two. no, actually, it’s my resolve breaking into a million little pieces yesterday. i thought i could hang on until the end of this block, working my butt off and getting minimal sleep yet continuing on with steely determination to work out EVERY day i could, cook from-scratch dinners EVERY night, and read EVERY day. oh, and i was supposed to be cheery about it, too.

for 18 days, i held on. but unfortunately pushing like that comes with a price — and at 6:30 pm when i finally got out of (a frustrating) clinic at the end of my 13 hour day, i just broke. i threw my plans to run (intervals) out the window, ate frozen pad thai for dinner (i DID heat it up first, at least), and was in bed by 7:30 pm watching desparate housewives. as expected, i made it through about half the episode before passing out into dreamland.

i wish i could say that i feel much better this morning, but i don’t. to be honest, i feel guilty about skipping my run (i am supposed to be marathon training, after all!) and don’t understand why i couldn’t have just pushed through and done everything like i had planned last night.

i guess i’ll just have to get over it.

perfectionism: sometimes, it’s my best friend . . . but at others, it’s a bitch.

◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊

so i got my j. crew package last night, even though i was feeling very undeserving of any sort of reward. unfortunately, as is my usual experience with online shopping, much of it is going back. i had ordered the super-on-sale maggie jacket as well as a few layering tees which i am seriously in need of. all of the tees were too long and/or tight in the chest (and i’m sorry, but i’m really not THAT huge in that area!), and the coat was cute but too big and much boxier than it appeared on line. i had ordered a 2 since that was the size of the j. crew blazer i already own, but i should have gotten a 0. however: i think i am going to suck it up and make a trip to the tailor. i REALLY like the fabric of the coat as well as the style/details, and i am hoping that someone can make it work for me! interestingly, this loyal j. crew shopper seemed to have similar problems with the fit.

————————————————————-

1.21.09: a day to be forgotten

run: no.

doin’ time: no.

reading: no.

flossing: yes. miraculously.