well, i survived. i think.
honestly, picking up 20 critically ill patients that i barely knew all at once and being left alone on call was one of the hardest things i've had to do as a resident thus far. it wasn't easy, it wasn't pretty, and i am glad i will never have to do it again. thankfully, the fellows were nice and helped me out and understood that coverage was not ideal, and none of the patients had their care compromised as a result of my floundering. i spent the entire morning thisclose to tears but managed to remain under control. i decided to just focus on putting out one fire at a time, and it at least sort of worked! zen PICU. who would have thought?
it's all downhill from here, too. i got the dreaded saturday call out of the way (leaving me with a decent schedule where i am guaranteed at least one weekly day off!), and even better, the unit is actually undergoing a major change on tuesday when it will split into two halves -- one cardiac, one not. the residents are actually all being shunted (yes, nerdy cardiac pun intended!) to the non-cardiac side, for reasons i do not understand but can only be verrrrrry grateful for. given that a) i hate cardiology with a fiery passion; b) the cardiothoracic surgeons are part of what make rounding in the PICU stressful and unpleasant and c) there are 8 jillion heart babies that are always very sick and high maintenance -- i definitely think the change will be a positive one for the rest of the month (actually, 19 days. yeah!).
overall, despite the stress and sleeping a grand total of 45 (blissful) minutes overnight, i am looking forward to the challenges of this month in a twisted sort of way. i want to prove to myself that i can do better this time around, both at work and just with my attitude in general.
so far, so good.
flossing report: i did it! i flossed on call. now, it was 4 am by the time i had time to do it, but i say that still counts. it was before 'bed' (ie my 45 minute nap).