i just realized that this is the first september (or august) of my life where i will not be headed back to school in some form. i've endured 6 years at lynnewood elemantary, 7 at haverford middle & high, 4 at williams college, and 5 at duke (go lions, fords, ephs, and blue devils!). and still i manage to feel like an idiot on a regular basis. i don't think this will ever change. but then again sometimes i actually get this flash of realization that i have gotten somewhere after all these years, like when my MS2 didn't hear the loud murmur my my patient's chest, even though it was practically sceraming, "HI, I'M AORTIC STENOSIS!" into my stethoscope.*
anyway, sometimes residency still feels like school, so it's an easy transition. i still have homework and studying to do. i still have to report to my uppers about even minute decisions that i make ("she has conjunctivitis and i'm giving them some erythromycin ointment to take home. is that ok??"). i still have many procedures on my 'required to finish residency!' list that i have yet to do for the first time. but i also get paid (yay!!), am not usually the most clueless on in the room at any given time (i love you, med students!! don't worry, it will be over soon enough), and i actually have patients who are MY patients and come in to see me in continuity clinic, which i think is pretty cool. so, in sum -- i like the hybrid state i am in.** some responsibility without all of the stress. most of the scut, but at least some of the glory.
other things going on
• i get a three-day weekend for labor day! i feel guilty about it, somehow, but happy. i plan to spend it catching up on sleep and home affairs, seeing mon meilleur ami avec ma soeur, finally reading harry potter 7, eating brunch at guglhupf, and maybe doing a little pre-labor-day sale shopping. i am sure there will be a long run somewhere in there, too.
• i am running a 5k "for healthier babies!" next weekend -- this one. i haven't done a race since i got hurt training for the miami marathon in january, so this should be fun. and yes, so far i've kept up my running through residency, and i plan on continuing. i'm more in the 35 miles/week range now, but focusing more on improving speed and shorter distances. it will be interesting to see how i do next week!
• i am going to see andrew bird next week and i'm very excited!
* please do not think i am saying that i am good at cardiology. i'm not. and there were PLENTY of murmurs i didn't hear! but it felt good to know that i had at least, after all this time, learned something.
** i happen to be on a very cushy rotation right now. i may speak differently when i'm in the NICU, but for now i'm pretty content.