Tuesday, July 04, 2006

today's the fourth of july /

another june has gone by /
and when they light up our town I just think /
what a waste of gunpowder and sky.

-- aimee mann (who inspired the title ghost world and who i saw perform exactly 4 years ago today, in london, of all places)

rather than the traditional red/white/blue combo, i chose to wear brown tonight. brown, i feel, more accurately depicts the fumes spewing from our nation's smokestacks and SUVs and the bullshit that erupts from w's mouth every time he parts his lips to speak. i know -- what happened to me, right? i used to be so normal, mostly concerned by things such as the end-of-all-flared-pants tragedy*. and now i'm a soapbox girl, turning ordinary dinner conversations about the weather into a science lecture, canvassing for people to see a movie starring our almost-president (chads be damned) and . . .

ugh. i'm already tired of thinking about it, tired of feeling helpless and hopeless, tired of feeling guilty every time i drive my car to chapel hill or take a hot shower lasting more than 5 minutes. unfortunately, there is no relief in sight. so i'll keep talking, and try to keep living, and attempt to do my part but get rid of the preoccupation.

happy independence day, right?


* still tragic, but i suppose i've gained some perspective.