i'm feeling overwhelmed. i met with about a zillion people last week. each felt compelled to tell me about why a phd is or is not necessary, and every single one of them was very defensive about their own career choices, which was somewhat funny. no one was mean or dismissive, however, so i can't (and won't) complain. i am happy that everything is going to work out in the long run, but in the next month and a half i have to:
- finish up in lab. i had a list of experiments i wanted to finish, but it may get shortened significantly. it's unrealistic to pretend that my project is going to 'come together' all of the sudden when it wouldn't for weeks and weeks. i will do 1-2 more insulin secretion assays and i'm out. sadly, i feel somewhat awkward in lab now. people (including friends) look at me all weird. i can't take it for much longer.
- remember that prelim? well, it's about to morph into a master's defense. i realize that it would be a shame not to complete this; however, it's going to suck. i need to write up a 20 page document in approximately 2 weeks. fortunately, i have been told that the standards are 'less rigorous' for the master's. i am interpreting this to mean that i can hand in total BS (my specialty) and still pass. we'll see.
- write this so-called 'thesis'. so, can i use the 20 page document to get credit for the medical school research year? no. no, i cannot. the format and content is actually quite different. so i will need to do this as well. (*&(#$#.
- turn into bridezilla. or not. but Wedding Stuff is starting to pile up. there are less than 2 months to go. fittings, flowers, seating, programs, choosing music, decisions about a million different random little things -- sort of fun, but piled on top of the above obligations and it hurts a little.
- endure 5 more weeks of marathon training. actually, that doesn't sound too bad, considering that 2 of those weeks will be less strenuous 'taper' weeks at the end. i think i'm done with marathons for a little while after this one. i'm tired of spending 50% of every weekend either running (yesterday: 22 freaking miles) or recovering from said run. i want to go back to just being a vain person who just goes to the gym for asthetic reasons (and health ones, i suppose). at least for a few months.
in other news, i am about to register for 4th year classes.
the next 12 months of my life, starting in june
june to july: outpatient medicine clinics. so that i can remember how to use a stethoscope & write a note so that i hopefully will avoid embarrassing myself later.
july to august: pediatrics subinternship. career determination, part 1.
august to september: psychiatry subinternship. career determination, part 2. i am hoping that one or the other will call to me.
september to october: pediatric endocrinology. although if i decide on psychiatry, i may change this.
october to november: radiology. because i am an idiot when it comes to reading films and i must remedy this. plus, it's easy.
november to december: adolescent medicine. this is a half-credit thing that has just 2.5 days clinic/week. i like surly teenagers for some reason. it should be fun!
december to february: off. yes, i will be off from december 9th to february 5th. i will need to use some of this time for interviews, but will spend the rest painting my nails. and maybe marathon training again, if i feel like it and want to make an actual boston qualification attempt.
february to march: medicine or peds intensive care rotation (depending on whether i choose peds or psychiatry)
march to april: capstone, which is this required classroom course that supposedly gets you prepared for intern year, although i don't think anything can really do that.
april to end of june nothing (besides freaking out about starting intern year). graduate. move, maybe, depending on what happens.