Monday, March 20, 2006

it'll make your head spin

recent events have unexpectedly led me to call into question my own motivations and desires regarding my career. it hurts.
i am sure of the following:

i want to be with josh and be there for him.
i want to have a family.
i would like a job that would allow me to work part time to raise said family.

i am not sure of the following:

that i have th drive or desire to be a good scientist, or that i even have enough interest
that i really gave clinical medicine a fair trial

i am very good at filling whatever mold i'm supposed to be filling for that particular moment. so good that i can't figure out what shape i really am.

yes, a midlife crisis.
at 25.


  1. Join the club. I think MD/PhD progams should have built-in counseling sessions for the amount of mental stress the program puts you through.

  2. sarah, you know i've been there. i've been fighting the exact same battle for the past year and half. i'm assuming that your decision has something to do with last thursday? match day was completely depressing for me, but at least my fiance wasn't matching (last year was even worse). where did josh end up?

  3. Aimee5:28 PM

    I really feel for you, Sarah. Call me if you want someone to talk to!

  4. Anonymous2:48 PM

    Wow. I wish I had found this post a few years ago when I was following your blog because now at 23.."Being good at fitting the mold and not even know what shape your truly are" I couldn't have described this feeling any better.