Wednesday, February 01, 2006

and that's that.

i'm quitting kaplan. well, at least for the time being, but probably forever. it has eaten my life like a big purple and green monster with bratty duke students for teeth. the only thing stopping me from just completely blowing it off (ie, not even finishing off my week of teaching) is the fact that mayyyybe, someday i'll have extra time and a need for money and i could see OCCASIONALLY teaching a class or doing a once-per-week training session. however, i have firmly informed the staff that the last time they'll see me for at LEAST the next several months will be february 9th, and if they don't like that, then they can lump it. so ha.

i suppose that chances are they'll tiptoe around me at least until then, because if they make me mad now and i refuse to teach, say, on thursday, then they'd be rather screwed, wouldn't they? it will be an interesting litmus test: if i've overestimated their personalities and they are true assholes, i suppose they could fire me (ie, tell me never to return) after the 9th. and it would be THEIR LOSS.

i sound really bitter (mostly because i don't like my main boss), but the truth is i've met some really nice people through kaplan. our center manager (now marketing director) is an incredibly bright and overqualified princeton grad. i am confident that she will one day rule the world. when she saw me come in today, all a mess, she understood and said she wanted to do lunch together sometime regardless of how things turn out. and i felt like a person rather than just an employee, and it was nice. not nice enough to change my mind, but nice. and i do hope that we could hang out outside of the big K.

kaplan has been good to me in other ways, too. i have definitely gotten more confident about public speaking, and my whiteboard skills have improved tremendously. i've gotten a taste of what 'corporate' america is like, and what it means to be a professional (and now i'll run screaming back into the lab). sometimes, after a particularly good class with nice students, i feel like i'm actually doing some good in the world. but i guess i'm also mainly doing that good for a giant purple MACHINE who charges students 8 jillion dollars for a few books and marginally qualified instructors. meh.

anyway. i'm all wired on coffee and little sleep and big momentous life changes. the truth is, it's really hard for me to quit ANYTHING, but when i do the outcome is always the right one. in fact, wow, this is seriously a life pattern of mine.

things i really REALLY resisted quitting but was really really happy once i did:

1. piano lessons (sorry, parents)
2. violin lessons (sorry, parents)
3. voice lessons (college) (sorry, parents)
4. cheerleading (well, i didn't quit, but didn't compete, junior year)
5. temping (i think i just ended my stint early, but even that was hard)
6. ephlats, the college a capella group that i was at the time directing (spring semester of senior year)
7. and now, kaplan.

i feel better already.

2 comments:

Brent Yorgey said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

hooray! good for you. I know how hard it can be to do something like that, but it's quite obvious this is the right decision for you. Reading this post made me happy. (=

cara said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

good for you. i'm lucky to have really nice bosses at both the centers i teach out of, and they've been super flexible with me. one of my mentors here always tells me there should be no shame in quitting something you're not happy doing or that isn't worthwhile to you, and i think there aren't enough people out there who feel that way!

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