my life isn't that hard. often my days are rather full, but there is little pain or suffering involved, really. so why does it sometimes feel like i'm struggling, stressing, almost about to fall apart? this morning i was reading a short blurb in the newspaper about mindfulness and oneness and all that jazz. it was written by some buddhist chick who looked more like a louisiana grandmother who makes great biscuits than a spiritual leader, but it struck a (minor) chord.
she was writing about how many of the things that people 'suffer' from are due to self-dissatisfaction, rather than any inherant badness in their lives. people (including me) spend a lot of time fretting about what they don't have, don't look like, or aren't doing at any given moment. so: instead of just appreciating each moment for what it is, there's some imaginary ideal that we're comparing with our own lives, and it makes us unhappy when really, most of the things we do are not in any way unpleasant or painful. i guess this means we should at least be neutral about almost everything, if not happy. i feel like getting to actually enjoy things like washing dishes must be 'advanced' mindfulness, so at this point i'll settle for calm tolerance.
wow, this post is so . . . californian.