Thursday, October 21, 2004

the dream is over

i sat in a cold little cubicle in the medical center library pondering for a few moments regarding the marathon de paris in april and . . .

i decided i am going to have to decline this fabulous opportunity.


1. if i could avoid going outside for the duration of winter, i would. i absolutely hate being cold. therefore, i really do not see myself enjoying training for a marathon in the winter. in contrast, i actually could picture myself having some degree of fun completing long training runs in the fall, or the spring, but not in january and february when the ground is covered in ice and snow and the winds are howling. north carolina ain't no miami, you know. since for me the whole getting-used-to-running-outdoors thing is a huge challenge to start with, i figure why make it more difficult than it otherwise would be, training-and-motivation-wise?

2. i have many other opportunities to do marathons over the next several years . i'm not feeling it right now. i'm not feeling running in 25 degree weather. ok, i realize this is sort of the same reason as above, but i want to emphasize that there's no urgency involved, that there's no reason to rush into this. and i would like to pick a race where the training window is in a better season.

3. i've just obtained my freedom and i want to be flexible with it. when i think about the next few months, i get more excited about the idea of taking more yoga, reading more books, actually playing my violin, or even getting a freaking job (come on kaplan!) than getting up on sundays to run a zillion miles. i'm not ready to commit to such a large project yet.

4. all of the reasons i can think of TO do it don't really make sense. here's what i mean:

reason #1: a marathon would be great because it would be a way to get in really good shape. whatever. i'm already in pretty good shape (good enough, anyway). and i'm not going to stop running, i'm just not going to take it to the extremes required to survive 26 consecutive miles. furthermore, who knows? maybe i'm avoiding some catastrophic career-ending injury by choosing not to do this.

reason #2: it would be such great fun to go to paris and do it w/ my sister there. i'm going to go to france anyway, and i'm not sure that adding the stress of my first marathon would increase the level of fun. though the mileage would help make up for the vast quantities of french cheese i plan to consume. heh heh.

reason #3: this is the best chance for josh and me to train for one together. ok, this might sort of be true, timing wise. his life (but not mine) is going to get a lot less flexible and more hectic after this year is over. however, we wouldn't really be training together, anyway - i can't keep up with him for 6 minutes, let alone 26 miles. regardless of what i choose to do, i think he'll be running either paris or boston this spring. i will be happy to watch and cheer. i will be happy to make or go out to brunch after his weekend long runs. but i don't think i'd be happy getting up out of my warm soft bed on sunday mornings to slog through ice and snow for hours. actually, i know i would hate it.

so that about covers it. overwhelming support for not running a marathon this spring. someday, i'm going to do it. but not right now.

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how is time going so fast? only 7 weekdays left in lab (not that i'm counting). i'm seriously going to miss it. i'm a little confused as to what happens now, though. i think i'm going to ask the PI for a meeting so that i can show him the experiments i did and the results i got. otherwise, i feel like there's just no closure, and i need closure. i think there's a good chance that i'll return to this lab, but i can't say for sure without doing at least one more rotation.