voyeur

i need to stop reading random people’s blogs. it is as addicting and as timesucking as watching tv, reading trashy magazines, or playing video games. i am trying not to let years of my life be sucked away forever into the black hole of voyeurism, sitting slack-jawed and motionless while other people (real, fake, or real-but-with-plastic-surgery-“improvements”) get to wear the latest fashions/go fun places/kill scary monsters. after all, i shouldn’t be content with just watching, right? i should be striving to one day be the one beating down killer robots in fiji while wearing jimmy choo heels.

the thing is, in blog-world, most people aren’t even doing anything extraordinary. in contrast to the un-reality of tv/magazines/video games, the lifestyle of the average blogger is nothing special. kids go to school, adults go to work (and complain about it a whole bunch), and stay-at-home moms knit things. reading about the activities and associated thoughts of these people should be boring, but somehow it isn’t. i suppose it’s similar to the allure of reality tv: watching people that are like you, but not.

when i read other people’s entries, sometimes i think, “what if that were me?” i haven’t been movitated (yet) to embrace a new political cause or crochet a new bedspread, but i think i’ve been influenced in other, more subtle ways. like, when someone waxes on about some new fascinating novel that they’re immersed in, i want to run to barnes and noble to find something that excites me that much. when i read about hazy nights danced away at trendy clubs, i think about how i never did get to live that lifestyle. i didn’t think i was missing out on much, but JessicaX from los angeles certainly seems to be having a grand old time, so who knows?

i suppose tv and magazines do have their fair share of influence, but in some ways this is worse. the people i have been reading about are real, individual people, telling their selected stories (unique or not) and living out the rest of their lives in relative oblivion. most of the time, the way people write makes them sound very satisfied and almost glamorous, sort of, even when they’re complaining about the size of their dingy cubicle or about how their husband never remembers to take out the trash. or maybe it’s the blogging itself that lends this sort of important air to the rather generic vignettes. i mean, if something is published, it’s natural to automatically see it as elevated over the mundane. if it were status quo, why would it be posted for all to see?

but then, that’s what a blog is.

anyway. i’m going back to durham tomorrow. back to real life. i have lots of projects i want to work on, because i still have little real responsibility outside of showing up at class at 3 pm. my makeshift summer. too bad it’s almost over.