regression

August 7, 2004

i have regressed. when i was about 8 or 9, i was obsessed with the pop stars tiffany and debbie gibson. they were just the coolest. tiffany was probably the best, because she had the greatest mall hair, which i was always trying to recreate on my own head. madonna was also high on my list, but i think i liked the other two more because they were closer to my age.

as i grew into early teen-hood, my taste in music improved, but only marginally. in the 1990s, i started listening to music that fell into the now out-of-fashion category of “alternative.” i was into some angry chick rock, and i discovered tori amos. still, for the most part, i was mainly just consuming what the top 40 was dishing out to me. i didn’t really care how unoriginal and crappy most of it all was, because despite this it was usually very catchy, and i liked learning new lyrics to sing along to. in fact, the more elaborate and indecipherable the words were, the more i enjoyed memorizing them. i knew all the words to “it’s the end of the world as we know it and i feel fine” as well as that horrible song “popular”, circa 1996 or so, by nova surf. even today, i can launch into a nearly-perfect rendition of sir-mix-a-lot’s “i like big butts.”

during late high school and college, things changed to some degree. i stopped listening to top 40 and moved towards WXPN (penn’s eclectic music station) and my own CDs, which meant i was listening to much more interesting, original music much of the time. i’m not saying that i knew every obscure indie band out there or even that i was finding lots of interesting things on my own (vickie, i envy you), but i had improved. my cd collection became something that i was rather proud of.

but now! dear god. what has happened to me? i think it started with my christina aguilera fixation (yeah, i know), but now i seem to have developed this newfound love for trashy teen-targeted pop. i know all of the crap on the local top 40 station (G105, baby), and i mean i know it. i even know the words to the songs i hate, even though i hate them. and i get genuinely excited when ashlee simpson comes on. i haven’t bought a new CD in months.

i think that one part of the problem is that there are no good radio stations, and another part is that i have been lazy and haven’t found much new interesting music to listen to. either way, i need to get a grip on this because it’s becoming embarrassing. i’m 24 years old, for god sakes.

i hope that next year when i have more time, i will begin seeking out things to listen to. until then, if anyone has any musical suggestions, i would appreciate the help.

* * * * *

so other than this horrifying burst of self-discovery regarding my regression in musical tastes, today was a lovely day. at work, we were relatively busy, which is a good thing. i realized that when there’s less waiting-around time, i can really enjoy getting into the rhythm of seeing pediatric patients, even if most of them are in with chief complaint of URI (or ADHD). i truly get a kick out of talking with kids, and this makes the time go so fast for me. the babies are fun because they’re cute, but what i really like is the 3 – 12 year old crowd.

i didn’t see any crazy pathology today, but i had fun. i didn’t have this kind of fun when i was doing family medicine, because i just don’t enjoy adults as much.

plus, with kids you almost never have to do rectal exams.

* * * * *

i’m going to asheville tomorrow (western NC) and staying overnight with josh’s cousin’s family, so i’m not sure i’ll have internet access to post up there, but i’ll try. the very compulsive side of me really likes having daily updates, even if there’s not usually much to say.

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