Sunday, December 10, 2017

still here :) 40 & 1

Here we are!

40 1/7

I feel like a time bomb.  But I'm really really trying to just embrace it.  I did end up cancelling my induction (though I certainly get the arguments on both sides, and am hoping I do not regret my decision, especially since we are a 30-45 min drive from the hospital where I'll be delivering, depending on traffic).

Summary of this weekend so far has included:

- a lot of lying around (for me)

- kids' bday parties that I didn't think we'd likely make it to (one last night, another one today)

- anxiety (is she still moving enough?  did that twinge mean anything?  what about that one?  what if my water is broken but only a tiny bit so it's hard to tell?  what if . . . continue ad nauseum)

I am also trying to do some year-end wrap-up and introspection since I have no idea whether I'll be in any brainspace to do so around the actual new year.  

what worked & what didn't - will share details in a later post
(and maybe podcast ep)

On the upside, I don't feel too physically terrible during the day -- evenings are rough (she seems to be doing a very painful dance on my bladder every night and I honestly cannot get comfortable no matter what I do around 7p - 10p).  But I have been sleeping!  Trying to savor that (and bank it, as much as this is possible!) because obviously in a very short time this will no longer be my reality.

Some pix:

bday party glitter tattoo

from Josh's bday - (12/8)
We had our traditional day-date for his birthday!  
I got a prenatal massage and told the (very talented) masseuse to try to induce labor.
It was an excellent massage but . . . did not work.

OFFICIAL 40 week pic!!!


- Quit running at around 37.5 weeks.
- Quit barre at maybe 35?  Made me too sore.
- Did one run at 39.5 weeks to try to get things going - it didn't work.
- Feeling too tired to run currently but who knows, maybe I'll try again.

- Okay during day
- Miserable at night  

- Gained ~23 lbs total
- BP okay although diastolic creeping up a bit (80s)
- Next OB check Monday (at 40 2/7)

Preparations made:
- Car seat done and installed bases in both cars
- Bassinet in room
- Clothes prepped
- Hospital bag packed

Still need to do:
- Combine A&C into one room and create nursery.  But not planning on doing this until Feb or so.
- Get breast pump (I'm getting the Spectra after hearing rave reviews!  But my insurance won't ship it until baby is born.

Prior pregnancies at 40 weeks:
- Cameron 39 6/7 / Cameron 40

Thursday, December 07, 2017


So I currently have an induction date set on the calendar: 12/10/17.  Sunday.

Baby #3 is due 12/9/17.  

There was no clear reason given for this induction other than "that was the date the hospital had available".  So . . . I think I'm going to cancel it.

I am 100% for epidurals (I do NOT do well with pain and love this intervention!) and for inductions and Cs when indicated, of course.  But I need a reason other than scheduling (or even annoying insomnia, fatigue, or nausea) to justify getting things going medically when it's a process that (theoretically) should naturally occur on its own.

I was thinking about how this relates to my practice of medicine.  In general, I wouldn't say I'm a super-non-interventionalist - but I definitely don't push medications or procedures, either.  I try to give patients all the options, risks, and benefits, and let them make their own decisions.  In many cases (example: mild precocious puberty) there is the option to do nothing (and watch and wait) vs do something (use meds that don't always have the nicest side effects).  I absolutely offer both, but IF they ask me what I would do, many times the answer is watchful waiting.

SO.  I'm going to follow my gut and my own inclinations.

OF course I hope this rumination is all for naught -- C came rather suddenly (water broke the night before the due date) but yeah.  

But I feel more at peace now.  

I ordered pencils from CW Pencil Enterprise(I learned about this shop/online store on the What Should I Read Next podcast and was intrigued by the Lefty Set!) and they came!  It was a lot of fun to try them.  I think I will use them for marking books perhaps?  Because I'm otherwise quite wedded to pens.  HMMM.  Still fun though.

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Goings On


Yes, still here.  I have 2 more days of work (including today), but things are definitely winding down.  I am feeling:

1) anxious.  I started having some contractions that hurt and was reminded of the very basic and obvious fact that HEY, LABOR IS PAINFUL.  (Then they stopped, so I have no idea when things will happen now!).  It sounds a little crazy but I just hadn't really stopped to think about it in a while.   Giving birth is obviously a natural and normal part of life, but there are also about 10,000 little things that can go awry and make the experience more stressful or scary.  I have been very lucky to have an uncomplicated pregnancy thus far, and C's birth in particular went very smoothly, but . . . it's like there's a chasm of unknown between this moment and actually seeing her, and I'm eager for it to close.

2) excited.  I just soooo want to see her face and meet the final (yes, for real this time!) addition to our family!  I also cannot wait to see how A & C react when they meet her.  

3) tired.  Though honestly I'm not feeling terrible!  Cameron has croup (guess this baby's immune system will be put to task quite early . . . hopefully my set of antibodies is pretty complete at this point*!).  He actually was in such distress last night that we considered a trip to the ER.  Stridor (upper airway obstruction, like you see with croup - different from the typical asthma wheezing) is really really scary to watch.  Thankfully he improved enough with medicine/treatment at home that we didn't have to, but yeah.  Tired.  I slept in his room last night which was not exactly restful.

Also on the tired note, I think the kids must sense impending change or something because they (esp A) have been . . .extra challenging lately.  Or maybe it's just my ability to deal with them that has deteriorated a bit!  Greatly awaiting some sustained time at home with all 3.  Since we have our nanny, I actually do think I'll be able to spend extra time (more than normal) with A&C which will help with the transition.  Until I head back to work . . but not ready to stress about THAT yet!

Super-glam work shot

On the up-side, I feel pretty organized and ready from a work- and home-life standpoint!  I have seen my last patient (as of 15 minutes ago!).  Hanukkah gifts are (mostly) ordered and I have put the remaining items on Josh's to-do list.  I have (perhaps dangerously) tabled holiday card-creation and family photo calendar-making (tradition I do for our extended fam each year on Josh's side) until post-baby.

And now I'm just kind of . . .waiting, and trying to stay out of countdown mode.  
BUT, it's hard!

On a non-baby note, I will list some fun things going on:

year-end music lists are in!  That link will take you to Album of the Year, a site dedicated to collecting ALLLL of the lists and they also create an aggregate.  In the spotify era, it's so much fun to be able to just listen to new things (that have received popular or critical acclaim).  This morning I listened to Kendrick Lamar's DAMN for the first time and . . .damn.  That is a very well-done, interesting album even if is not in one of my most-frequented genres.  

BoBW maternity leave episode is up (yesterday).  How timely :)  Laura and I interview Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester.  She was so gracious and personable and easy to talk to!  I am definitely going to read her book while on leave.

* Featured Planner-of-the-Week-that-I-am-not-using:  The Commit30.  As usual, non-sponsored and just want to make that clear!  I've been intrigued by this planner's layout and 30-day goal-setting for quite some time, and will probably use some of her ideas in my Hobonichi.  It has some layouts that are unique (the 30 days to cross off, for example) and the weekly layouts are very functional - similar to Inkwell Press (though I don't think quiiiiite as pretty, but to each her own).  They are also not terribly pricey compared to some others - in the $30-35 range instead of $50+ that many boutique planners are -- as I'm planner-obsessed the investment doesn't bother me but I completely get how it could offend others.

* Newborns are of course quite vulnerable to certain illnesses, but maternal antibodies DO cross the placenta so she should have some protection from me, at least for the first 6 months.