Sunday, August 05, 2018

Epic Journey

I didn’t end up bringing my laptop on this trip, because we were trying to keep luggage reasonable (kind of impossible with car seats and a travel crib, but we did our best!).  But I wanted to check in and say hi and that so far I’m so glad we made this epic journey.  I was super anxious before we left, yet once we got going, it really wasn’t thaaaaat bad.  

We left MIA at 445 am and arrived in Whistler BC 2 days ago at 130 am EST, so 21 hours of traveling.  But kids were mostly well behaved (even G) and we made it.

(Note: very very glad we sprang for a plane seat for G- since we spent 8 hrs in the air on 2 flights.)

I’ll mostly just update on instagram (@the_shubox) but I’ll try to check in here too from time to time!

A few pix ...

We are staying with Josh’s friends from college who have an amazing home here and it has been a lot of fun- our kids loooove theirs (Cameron is obsessed with  their 9 year old in particular) so it’s kind of like a long play date which works really well — no one has any expectations of a civilized dinner :)

The mountains are insanely beautiful, the weather is crisp and gorgeous (or at least it feels that way compared to home!) and when G is older we will have to return for skiing ...

PS: I love Canada and Canadians so much.  Seriously people are so incredibly nice here!  We will be back.

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

entering August and feeling okay

It's August.


G will turn 8 months in 11 days.  We will go on our first real family vacation since June of last year -- our first as a family of 5!  Annabel will enter 1st grade.  Cameron will start his last year of preschool (pre-K).  And I will really try to forgive myself for having a tough year.

I posted the photo / caption above on Instagram yesterday (I'm @the_shubox) and it felt somewhat cathartic.  I am not doing it all.  I am doing what I can, and I am continually prioritizing and making choices.  This is something that everyone does all the time, but it has a unique set of challenges in my current baby-centric season.

I have several aspects of life on hold because of Genevieve, and I have concluded:

a) it's temporary (oh so temporary!  Did I mention that it's August already!?  Didn't we just start 2018?!)

b) it's worth it, because it's what I want

c) it's okay to do what I want, even if it doesn't fit some cultural narrative or even make rational sense.

I am doing plenty (going to work, parenting 3 children, nursing G, exercising sometimes, reading sometimes, seeing friends sometimes, etc), and the things that are not happening as much right now -- honestly, they can wait. I'm going to skip October's conference (I'll have two work conferences to enjoy in 2019!).  I'm going to forgive myself for not putting as much energy into side endeavors (mostly writing goals) for now.  I'm going to go to bed early more often, and I'm going to try to take one night/week entirely off from Big Kid Bedtime (thank you Josh).  I'm not going to worry about whether or not I am 'progressing' in my workouts (hello, Upholder tightening) -- if I'm doing something active most days, that is great.

There is a lot to look forward to in the coming months, and I will miss the experiences if I'm too focused on looking down at what I'm not doing.

Happy August.  Here's to a full month.  


Friday, July 27, 2018

clean up catch up & a dilemma

When I take a week of call, I miss my weekly day off that comes with being an 80% employee.  But I always make them up the next week!

(Otherwise, that really would be heinously unfair.)

I ended up with both Tuesday + today (Friday) scheduled off this week, but then realized that I had committed to giving both morning report and noon conference today.  SOOO, I took 1/2 day off yesterday and will take 1/2 day this afternoon.

One one hand, this theoretically sounds nice because I get to spread out my time at home.  However, I would advise against this sort of schedule or anyone considering a part-time situation for two reasons:

1) COMMUTE.  There goes ~2 additional hours!

2) No reprieve from the morning rush (which is a delicious part of being off on a weekday)

3) It's verrrrry easy to get sucked into doing more work which will quickly turn your half day into a ~90% day.

All that said, I am rather looking forward to today.  I think I am going to stay at work and just CRANK #(*&$@ OUT.  I may even close my door (typically never do this other than while pumping) so that everyone leaves me alone.  We are headed on vacation at the end of next week (yay!) so I want to start clearing everything out in preparation . . . 

- Empty new results list / pt IN BOX
- Clear out / respond to work email 
- Empty physical work IN BOX
- Finalize schedules for Sept conferences, Oct conferences
- Complete resident evals
- Put Sept-Dec schedules into calendar

- Podcast prep!  Look at fall schedule, review topics + guests
- Clear out / respond to regular email
- Finalize vacation plans!  ? Packing list for trip
- Weekend plan (for this weekend)


There's a Pediatric Program Director meeting in October in Philadelphia that I was thinking of going to.  I think it may be useful for my residency-related role, and I think it would be fun.  G will be 10 months at that time.

As of now, I'm still fully pumping at work/nursing at home, but I do plan on scaling back on the pumping once we return from our trip.  That said, I really don't want our breastfeeding relationship to end early - I enjoyed nursing A until about 13 months (AM/PM for a few months, no pumping!) and was hoping for a similar experience with G.  Should I:

a) Skip the conference; there will be many many MANY conf opportunities in the future but this is my last baby 

b) Bring G to the conference and have her hang out with my parents during the day while I attend conference activities.  This sounds . . . okay, but also hectic and extremely un-relaxing (which honestly is part of why conferences are typically enjoyable for me!).  Flying by myself with G - completely doable but un-fun.  My parents also live ~40 min from downtown PHL where the conference is held.  Although I could uber each day and have work cover it, esp since I wouldn't be staying in a hotel.

c) Bring the pump, stay at a hotel (with a dinner out w/ my parents!) and just hope for the best (pump AM/PM/maybe once during day).  

My fear is with c) that she might not want to nurse when I got back.  Maybe it's irrational but C quit abruptly at 9 months and I wasn't ready - and it hurt my feelings and made me a little more paranoid this time around.

I recognized that my BoBW persona would say GO! but my heart is leaning towards a).  There will be many many conference opportunities in 2019 (already planning the calendar) when this won't be an issue weighing on my mind.  

cutest ball & chain ever . . .